9/30 Payday and More

Last night was fun. It was great catching up with Bruce prior to his performance. The only downside was that not many people showed up. Three of my friends were there (thank you Virginia, Bill and Joel), one of my friends wrote to say he couldn't find the place, and Bruce had three friends there as well. Other occupants of the coffee house were UWM students with their respective noses in their respective books. Yet they were still polite and applauded, seeming to enjoy the concert.

Bruce was awesome. He played as if he were in Carnegie Hall with an SRO crowd. I loved it. I just hope he wasn't too disappointed in the turnout. He said he wasn't, so I need to believe him. He sold three CDs, and some people put a little money in the pitcher. As we were leaving he remarked, "Good. Gas money."

When I left for work this morning, Bruce was still asleep on the sofa bed. I haven't spoken to him today, but I hope he's doing well on his trip to his next performance in Minnesota.

Here's Kayla's picture that was in the newspaper a few days ago:

9/29 Newspaper Photo

Turns out Kayla was on the front page of the Metro section yesterday in the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel. I missed it. But luckily some friends will bring in their newspapers for me tomorrow. Michele scanned one and emailed it to me. Kayla was adorable. Can't wait to see the newspaper itself. Have to send one to Jill, of course.

Jill called with a minor emergency. Did I have Kayla's stuffed elephant? I looked and it was hiding in the bottom of the sleeping bag. So I'll mail it to Kayla. Emergency over.

In a little while I'll leave to go to Anodyne Coffee Roasters to meet Bruce. He's set to start playing at 8 but will probably arrive earlier. I'm so tired from the last several days, but I'm sure the combination of good music and caffeine will keep me awake.

9/28 Here today, gone today

Jill, Todd, Kayla and Hunter left this morning. I set my alarm for 5:30 so they could get to the airport on time. Unfortunately I was already awake, because I was sleeping with Miss "I don't want to sleep in the sleeping bag, Grandma. I want to sleep with you." Kayla is what I might understatedly call a restless sleeper. She talks, makes noises and kicks all night. The experience wouldn't have been horrible if I didn't have a 18 hour day in front of me. So I have been awake since 3 AM and won't get home until 10 or later tonight. I'm yawning.

The visit was so wonderful. It's heartwarming to hear "I love you" so often. My grandchildren say it frequently, as does my daughter, and it sounds so good.

Yesterday, Jill and Todd slept in a little and by the time everyone had eaten breakfast and showered, it was about 11. We visited my office. Both little chatterboxes played the shy card, and I had to laugh at that. I'd been bragging about them for years, and finally my collegeagues got to meet them and neither one spoke. I think Hunter said a few words to my friend Bill and that was it. Kayla stood behind me with her forehead against my bottom--like we were cojoined. I had to keep laughing about it, because it must have looked strange indeed. And since I laughed, she kept doing it.

After the tour, we stopped in Wauwatosa at the Chancery and had a delicious lunch. Both kids behaved, and that added to the ambiance. Hunter finally got restless so I took both kids outside so Jill and Todd could finish eating. The kids were climbing on some metal sculptures that looked like dragons to them. A man came up, said he was from the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel and could he take pictures of the kids for the newspapter. He said he was out and about looking for photos of people enjoying the day. I asked to see his ID which was around his neck. It looked legitimate so I said okay. He must have taken a hundred pictures, and even snuck in a few of me beaming at the kids. Jill and Todd joined us and gave their assent also. So if anyone from Milwaukee reads this, PLEASE give me the newspaper if Kayla and Hunter are in it. Thanks.

We went to Lake Park and played on the playground. Everyone had fun with that, and I got some great shots. I'll post some tonight or tomorrow. After that we stopped at a Harley dealership because Hunter is CRAZY about bikes. Todd rides motorcross (Jill did too until after the second child). H can't wait until he gets a bike. Carries a toy one around constantly. There was a child's ride in the dealership. For 50 cents each, both kids had a chance to ride a child-sized Harley. I think that was the hit of the day.

We came home and I made dinner for the kids while Jill and Todd went out to dinner. It was their 7th anniversary. Very nice. I enjoyed my time alone with the kids, until it got to be bedtime, and both of them wanted to wait for their parents. Luckily they got home early.

It was a memorable visit. But when I think about them getting on the elevator to leave, the tears start again. Guess that's the only downside of being a Grandma.

9/26 Ah, Sunday!

I worked several hours at CSz last night and didn't get to sleep until 2 AM. So it was nice to sleep in today. In a few hours the kids will be back so of course I'm ecstatic.

Instead of doing anything productive, I've been playing online Scrabble.

I put several pictures on my website, but haven't got any fantastic ones yet. The kids barely stayed still. Here are a few: Kayla is inside a large Harley motorcycle at the Children's Museum. Hunter is running and playing on the stage at CSz.

9/24 Back to work

Yesterday was just an all-around perfect day. Except of course that Jill, Todd, Kayla and Hunter left. But they'll be back Sunday. It was such a pleasure having them visit, and I can't wait to see them again for a few more days.

I worked at CSz last night. It was a small house, but a decently responsive one. After I closed out my work, I watched the show for a few minutes and enjoyed the laugh. Then home, where I caught up on some TV. Tonight I get to be at home, and relax a little. Tomorrow is Saturday and I'll work at CSz. Should be fun though.

Now that I'm working two jobs I've noticed that my writing has really suffered. I need to clarify my priorities for when I'm home. Is it watching Survivor? Or finishing my novels? On the surface it seems like an easy choice. But lately watching Survivor is winning.

9/23 Family fun

Kayla and I woke up earlier than everyone else and we walked to the corner restaurant (Family Table) for breakfast. It was an entertaining and remarkable time, when we caught up on everything that's happening the 4-year-old Kayla's life.

Then Kayla decided she wanted to go to my doctor's appointment with me. I finally saw an orthopedist for my foot. Some amazing news...well, the bad stuff first. I have to sleep with a splint on. It's big and uncomfortable, but is supposed to do wonders. I need to go back in two to three months. If it's not better they'll put a cast on my foot.

The good news is that when I played kickball and ruptured those tendons--well, that was ultimately a good thing. One drastic treatment the docs do is go in and "release" some of the tendons. Seems like I did that myself when I ruptured them. Doc said that my way hurt a lot more, but still will most likely stop me from having surgery. How cool is that?

After that all five of us went to the Children's Museum. I love that place and we had such a blast there. Of course the two kids loved it and didn't want to leave. But we got hungry and had lunch at the Third Ward Cafe. It's a really nice Italian restaurant. I had a gift certificate for there. And more good news is that my gift certificate covered the whole bill. Hooray for that!

We followed lunch with a tour of CSz. The kids had a ball jumping, running, and tumbling on the stage. Now they're napping (or are supposed to be napping) and I need to get ready for work at CSz. They're leaving tonight to go up north for Todd's brother's wedding, but they'll be back Sunday. Can't wait. I love this Grandma stuff. Wish I had more time to spend just talking to Jill, but that can't be helped. It's all good.

9/22 Happy happy happy

Just finished cleaning up from dinner. A dinner prepared with the help of Kayla and Hunter (ages 4 and 2). Their job was to tear up the lettuce and they loved that they were in charge of it. I'm in Grandma heaven. Kayla is going to sleep in my room. Hunter will sleep with his mom and dad. It's so good seeing my daughter Jill too. She's such a remarkable young woman. More later--Kayla wants to sit in my lap and it's hard to type. A great problem to have.

9/22 Everything's looking up

I've been feeling a little down, but that's gone, and I'm back to my sunny self. So many things are going right.

I love both my jobs, I have new brake pads on my car, I've lost 9 pounds, my new CSz workshop started last night, and my daughter and family arrive today. How could I be depressed? Oh, yeah--I need more money, the world is going to hell in a handbasket, I'm still fat, blah blah blah. Okay, I'm done with the negativity.

Class last night was the best! I love Bogan as a teacher--had him in 103. When we make mistakes that block the scene from progressing, he stops us immediately then has us continue. Some others might let you finish the scene and then give you feedback. I love the immediacy of his comments. He doesn't let you keep making the same mistake, and I appreciate that. I also love that there's some other older folks in the group, so I'm not just with 20-somethings this time. I love the youngsters, don't get me wrong, some of them are good friends. But it's nice to not be the only gray head in the group. Everyone went to the Ale House afterward but I couldn't go as I still had some stuff to finish at home to prepare for company.

There are other neat things being planned for us amateurs and they sound like fun. I love acting, I love comedy, and I love being able to combine the two.

9/21 $365.95

I just redeemed my car from the pawn shop known as Auto Repair. Front brake pads, front brake rotor, adjust rear brakes that, thank God, didn't need fixing. Yet it was worth all 36,595 pennies because my grandkids are coming tomorrow. They need a safe car.

9/20 I understand road rage

For the very first time I understand road rage. It had me in it's fiery grip today. A young woman cut me off this morning on the freeway. I was really mad, but under control, and gave her a sarcastic "thumbs up" sign. She must have mistaken it for the finger, and flipped me the bird and laughed. Anger erupted. "I'll show her." I took off after her, speeding up. Wasn't looking at other lanes, no defensive driving, just anger. She was my total focus.

Suddenly, I realized what I was doing. I slowed down and got into the right lane where I could drive more slowly with the traffic. Surprised? Absolutely. Where did that rage come from? Is there something else going on in my life to explain this misdirected anger? I don't know yet, but I hope I find out. It's disconcerting to say the least.

I'm not happy that I understand road rage. It was much easier when I could laugh at people who got angry so easily.

9/19 My condo building

Someone died in my condo building Friday. I live in a place where I'm the "young chick." The average age must be 70. One person I really like is 93 and going strong. But I found out that a woman who is only two years older than I am was found in her condo. I haven't been able to find out any details at all, but it's unnerving on different levels. First of all her age. But secondly, she's the second acquaintance to die recently. Both relatively young. Both a surprise to me. Both were people that could have been close friends but weren't.

I first met Joan last summer at the pool. She swam every day and so did I. She didn't work, but made sure she came outside when I was swimming laps after work. At first I really liked that--someone in my building with whom I could be friends. She asked me to go to see fireworks at Summerfest and I couldn't make it. She asked me to do something else and I couldn't as well. On both occasions I could have changed my other plans and gone, but there was just something offputting about her. She invited me into her place and I accepted, and she ended up showing me home videos of her going to the Circus Museum in Bariboo WI--a famous place here. It was boring for me, but I knew she was alone and that her mother had died just a few years prior, so I was patient and suffered through it. She asked if I wanted to see more videos of their trips and I declined. She finally blew up at me once at the pool when she was bashing Arabs and Muslims (she was Jewish and had worked in Israel on a kibbutz for a time) and I said I didn't think the question was as black and white as she painted it. She just blew up at me and started screaming. I finally said that life was too short for me to hang around with people who treated me the way she had and that I wasn't interested in spending time with her.

When I heard of her death, I flashed back to this lonely woman who wanted an almost total stranger to see videos of her mom. I remembered her mother calling her "Joanie," and that she must have been devestated when her mother died, because except for the sojourn to Israel they'd always lived together.

I said the Arab-Israeli conflict isn't black and white. Neither was Joan.

9/18 Saturday returns

Today is a good Saturday. My cleaning friend is coming over. So that means I put everything away and clear out. I'm going into work for the afternoon to try to catch up. Then I'll work both shows tonight at CSz.

Besides the obvious benefit of getting a clean house, I love having someone come over because it forces me to put things away. Normally I pile things on my mirrored dresser in my bedroom.

One of the reasons I work a second job is because I don't want to give up having someone clean my house. It's a luxury sure, but I'll pay for that rather than going to movies. I've done a great job of economizing...so much so that I desperately need new clothes. But I've lost 7 pounds in the last three weeks and I don't want to spend money on stuff I'll shrink out of. Yes, that's wishful thinking. And I do have some clothes here that are still too tight, so they should fit soon. Some are out of style. (What were we thinking with those shoulder pads?) I'm doing WW online, the CORE program and so far it's working well and I'm very satisfied with all the food I get. I'm too lazy and undisciplined to count points, so CORE is just made for me.

Wednesday Jill and family arrive. I'm stoked.

9/17 Waxing poetic

On my writers' bb, we were talking about the wonder of children and I liked what I posted, so will post part of it here.

"Your description matched my feelings perfectly about the wonder of children and the hope they bring to all of us. My grandkids are coming to visit on Wednesday and my heart is already leaping. 4 year-old Kayla, having told me that she is really Princess Kayla Mulan, is such a beauty inside and out. And 2 year-old Hunter proudly yelled into the phone, "I'm a big boy. I went poop." How can you not love that? I have a wall full of pictures of Rob and Jill throughout their life. It hangs in my dressing area and every day I am overwhelmed with love. My story is different than yours. It's the story (you know it already) of trying for many years to get pregnant in an era when there were no other ways to try. No drugs, no procedures. Just people asking "when." Being from this huge Catholic family, it's unusual to have a childless couple. The adoption of both my kids stands out as my greatest accomplishment--oops, wrong word...rather the highlights of my life. They've both exceeded my expectations and my dreams. They both bring me hope."

9/16 Insomniacs R Us

Woke up at 3 AM and couldn't go back to sleep. Watched a few episodes of Queer Eye that I'd taped. Tried again to sleep. No luck. So I came into work early. Got here before 6:30. It was pretty funny because there's a woman who always comes in at 6:30 even though our work day doesn't start until 8:30. So she always is in the first parking space. But today I parked there and was the one who turned off the alarm system etc. Everyone as they drive into the lot will know there's something wrong with the world--that my car is in the first space. I love it.

Got an email yesterday from my brother's daughter's mother (long story about that relationship). Anyway, she has an agent/editor and they want me to write a blurb to be included in their book proposal. Originally I was going to edit the book and assist them in finding an agent, but with two jobs now I don't even have time for my own writing. So I'm glad they were able to get help.

I helped edit one of my friend's books and got paid for it. That was awesome, and something I'd like to do more of. This blog is informal, but when I write formally or edit for publication, I'm really persnickety. And I'm damn good.

9/15 I love work!

Work is becoming more and more interesting, and I didn't think that was possible. Besides all the writing and publishing I do, I'm now doing additional work on the websites. Additionally I'm project manager on our legislative efforts. Very cool.

Also, with my recent confusion and frustration at my other job, I wrote an email and asked for clarification. And to my delight, things are being addressed. What a great feeling.

Today's my third day in shoes and I'm in foot heaven. Next week I have an appointment with another orthopedist, this one highly recommended by my own doctor.

I put into next year's budget that I need a digital handheld recorder with the ability to download interviews into my computer. That way I won't have to mess with microcassettes anymore...plus I'll be able to save all the interviews much more easily. I'm very excited about it and can't wait. It'll be like a technological Christmas.

Two of our training programs got canceled this week because of the weather--one in Alabama and one in Louisiana. Luckily our employees were able to catch flights out. One is already back in Milwaukee and the other is on her way.... Hooray.

9/14 Another day, another day

Finished most of a newsletter I'm writing at work, so that's definitely a good thing. Tomorrow I begin on re-writing one website, with another website due to be completely revamped later in the week. Luckily, staying busy is a good thing in my book.

Wish I had more interesting topics to blog about, but alas...the title of my blog holds true.

9/13 Computers--love 'em/hate 'em

First thing this morning at work my computer kept shutting off, then re-booting. An endless loop. So the IT guy has had it all day. Something about Service Pack 2. I got a loaner but it's not the same--slow and doesn't have my bells and whistles. I'm looking forward to tomorrow when I'll have old faithful back on my desk. I've not been too productive because of the switch, but will definitely be going gangbusters tomorrow.

I'm wearing shoes today and am thrilled. Foot hurts but not bad at all. Day by day it's getting better. The nurse called me today and told me not to get too excited, that I still needed to be taking it easy. So now, not only is my kickboxing careeer over, my triathlon career is stalled. Drat the luck.

Saturday at CSz was not as easy as Friday. We had a lot of problems with some new procedures and we couldn't get the box office tally sheet to balance. But I communicated with management about it and we'll see if things improve. I love working there, and want to make the job easier for myself and the others who do the same work.

After I got off duty at 10:45 PM, I enjoyed the rest of the late show. Both shows were nearly sold out so that was awesome. It's so much fun greeting people, taking their money and making wisecracks. Hey, I think I could be a comedic mugger!

9/11 Saturday again

Want another post about my foot? Me either.

After my long day at CPI, I worked at CSz. If you don't think it's hard answering the phone...well, it is. I get confused and have to stop and think before I say the name of the company when I answer. At my regular job, I don't get many direct calls. Usually an inbound caller would be transferred to my by the people who answer the phone. But some people do have my direct number, so I answer with the company name when that happend. I wish the places had totally different names. It would help this tired old brain.

Last night I trained another new person. Surprise! :)

Eva picked up things really quickly and we got very busy so it was super to have someone with me. Because so many patrons came late to the 10 o'clock show we didn't finish work until 11. Since it was so late I decided to stay and watch the rest of the show. The players were great but the audience wasn't. There were lots of people who were drunk when they arrived, so they were coming down from their high during the show, and that really was evident. But I found it hilarious, and I know the players heard my laughter, because there wasn't a lot of it going on.

We had a guest player, Mark, from LA. I'd met him during the World Championship. Nice to see him.

I work with Eva again tonight, so it should be another good night. It's hard to do the job by yourself. You have to do a lot of prep work. Then the customers start arriving up to an hour before showtime, if they're going to eat dinner first. At the same time you are taking money, giving out wristbands (on which you've written their seat or table number). Also you are answering the phone and taking reservations on the computer. So it's evident why I'm happy to be training someone.

Just talked to Jill online. I'm so blessed to have her as a daughter. Again, let's return to a phrase from an earlier entry. Life is good.

9/9 Life is really good

I don't know where that title came from, but I realize with great clarity that my life is good. I have a job I love, a second job I like, a hobby (comedy) that I adore, and a condo that's small enough it doesn't need much cleaning. Doesn't get any better than that.

Jill, Todd and my gorgeous grandkids arrive toward the end of the month. I'm having someone clean my place a few days beforehand (see the previous paragraph--it won't cost me much because the place is small). Todd is a neat-freak and I want to have the place clean. My daughter Jill wouldn't care...she grew up with my non-existent housecleaning. But I'll actually have Kayla and Hunter in my very own home. They've never been here. Either I go to LA (frequently) or they meet me in Quincy. This is a big deal. I'll only have them here for a short time, since they're going up north for Todd's brother's wedding. But no complaints. I'm grateful for what I'll get.

Then my friend Bruce from Santa Barbara arrives right after they leave. He's doing a cross country tour to promote his new CD. So he'll stay one night after a concert in another friend's coffee house. September is full of fun for me. Oh, and my next class (104) begins at CSz on September 21.

I'm so impatient for my foot to get back to normal. I'm still happy that surgery isn't needed, but want this to be OVER! Yeah, I'm sure my little temper there will really make the tendons heal more quickly. Yeah.

9/8/04 OW!

After a few days of my foot getting progressively better, I'm caught in a tailspin of pain today. Unless I hold my foot perfectly straight, I can barely walk. If I don't bend my foot at all, it's fine. Don't know what happened. Could it be the dancing I did last night?

Damn, as usual I'm my own worst enemy. Probably my only enemy. I don't need more.

9/7 The truth about me

My writer friend died over the weekend. As I said, I wasn't that close to her for various reasons, but I feel a real loss. Turns out her devestating illness affected her brain too. So some of her nasty comments and sad behavior were caused by that. The stuff from years ago, of course, wasn't from the illness, yet I'm so sad that she didn't share any of her recent journey with us. She kept her pain private. Many of us became judgmental about her attitude and behavior, attributing some of it to drink, and some of it to just ill-temper. I feel crappy about that. If I'd known even a smidgeon of the truth, I would have withheld judgment--I know me. But in death, Pam taught me a valuable lesson. We don't know anyone's journey, unless they share it with us. My judgment of her was wrong. I was wrong.

But I know that if such a thing were to happen to me, not only would my friends know about it, so would complete strangers. I'd make a habit of posting as long as I could in my blog. I would want to make sure I said what I needed to people, and give them a chance to say their truths to me. No secrets. Is that any better than the way Pam chose to handle her illness? Of course it isn't. It's just different.

Guess I'm blaming Pam for not telling me and saving me from feeling so guilty. What a selfish, selfish woman I can be.

9/6 Labor Day

A lazy Monday, babying my foot. I worked at CSz for 11 hours on Saturday and the stupid foot still hurts. Despite that, I had a great time, and trained new gal Marcy for the job. She's only 16 and I had to focus her on the job every now and then, but she picked up quickly. The neatest thing was that she told me what a good teacher I was, more than once. That felt great. Hope we work together again.

Other than going grocery shopping on Sunday, I stayed off my foot all day. So it should be getting better--it should it should it should it should.

Football season is about to start and I'm thrilled. Not only do I love watching it, but I'm in two football pools. One, at work, is for money, but the other, with CSz friends, is just going to be plain fun.

Rob and Beata called from Okinawa yesterday with news that they were in the middle of a Category 5 typhoon, and of course they loved it. Rob and I share that weirdness, Jill too. My mom would sit out on the porch with me during big storms and we'd just marvel at the power of it, and how cool it was. R and B still don't know when they're getting back to the states but we're all hoping it's before Christmas.

Jill just emailed to say they got a new computer and she'd be offline for a while since she was transferring all the data. I love that my daughter is a wonk.

9/4 Ah, the long weekend!

Last night, I sat like a good girl, with my foot up. I watched some TV and played internet Scrabble. Met a new friend--someone to have good matches with.

Today though I'm going to work from Noon until around 10:30 PM at CSz. The work isn't hard. I'll be able to sit most of the time and keep my foot up, so it should be fine. Then I'm meeting friends for the last show. It starts at 10, but I'll be able to slip in around 10:30 when I'm done working.

Last week I joined WW online and when I weighed in yesterday I'd lost 4 pounds the first week. Couldn't believe it. I know that's just the first week and it'll slow down to a pound or two a week, but that's okay. It'll be in the right direction, which is what I need/want.

I've also decided I need to get busy on my writing. I have three novels that need finishing, and I haven't spent time writing for fun lately. Guess writing at work has used up my creativity. :)

9/3 Limping around

I got the surgical boot/shoe, although I don't understand its purpose. If it's for comfort, then okay... or if it's to keep my foot from bending so the tendons heal, well that makes more sense. It just makes me walk funny after I'd spent over a week learning how not to limp. Ah well, I'm a lucky bug anyway.

Work is getting more and more fun. I have new things to do, in addition to the writing and editing of our publications. I like being busy.

My family is all getting together at my sister Jan's this weekend for a barbecue. It makes me homesick knowing I'm a six hour drive away. I'll be thinking of them as they drink beer, play games, and laugh. Hey--I'll be doing that myself at CSz... and several of the comedians are as silly/dumb as my brothers, so it'll be okay.

9/2 Good news/bad news/good news/bad news

The good news is that I don't have to have surgery. The bad news is that I ruptured tendons in my foot and have to wear the ace wrap and a surgical boot for several weeks. The good news is that I'm working at ComedySportz this weekend and can sit while I work.

Some absolutely devastating news is that I found out that a writer friend is dying. It's such a shock. She and I were never close. She always rubbed me the wrong way and I didn't like the way she treated people. On the surface she is sweet, then mean, then sweet again, and the nice people we hang out with remember the good stuff, and this lady has done some fantastically unselfish and giving things for some individuals. But she backstabs like crazy and has defamed me and others to anyone who will listen. It took a long time but I finally found out what she was saying about me, and it was really hurtful. I wonder what kind of gain people get from behaving that way. I feel so guilty at the moment for not having liked her, and I won't say phony things. But I did offer good wishes and many prayers, and those are sincere. I don't want to see anyone suffer, and this person is indeed suffering. This is hard.

I wish I were a better person.

9/1 Good news

Well, I got approved by Google's AdSense program. So that's cool. When I get home tonight I'll add the info to my website. (MS Frontpage is on my home computer.) I think that will be kind of fun, and maybe I'll make a few bucks.

Practice at Jeff's was canceled last night. Many folks were unavailable--it's the end of summer after all--even though we haven't had summer yet in WI. (I'm going to keep repeating that until it gets warm.) Real workshop classes start on September 1, and I'm really looking forward to that.

So I went to my hair appointment at 5 (got it all chopped off again) and instead of going to practice I went home. Lost two games of online Scrabble, watched TV until 11 and went to bed. Can ya stand the excitement?