Tuesday, January 06, 2009

1/6 My brother made me cry

Yes, that's the title of my article tonight. Jeff made me cry, the old meanie! Read the column tonight to find out how and why. Thanks, Jeff. I appreciate it.


Jeremy said...

Hello Jerilyn,

I am real. I did write the letter. I was reaching out to a writer at the OC Register who in turn forwarded my email to Leslie Seppinni. Had I known that my letter would be published I probably would not have written it.

At the time I wrote the letter I was a mess, in tears because I was completely idle...nothing to do, but being left with my own thoughts...and they got the best of me.

I've been suicidal for several years. I've been in therapy and have refused all pharmacuetical treatment. I've been through three therapist in five years.

My wife's job loss and my own are probably catapulting me forward on the same path as I've always been on. I'm not sure that I can make any difference positively anymore. The truth is I'm not sure I have the courage to take my own life. I have always thought there would be a life event that would be so catastophic that I would randomly release my seatbelt, slump over, and drive into oncoming traffic...preferrably a semi with little other traffic coming from the other direction so not to hurt anyone else...the driver of the semi would probably survive.

Dr. Seppinni's response only furthers my thinking. Before the significance of a suicide was harsh and real. Today it's becoming a byproduct of a financially perverted society.

In the end I tell myself I'm one of those people who always thinks it, but is too much of a coward to do it.

I mistakenly shared my feelings with someone who took the liberty of publishing those feelings.

Regardless I did read your response. I appreciate your honesty. If you read the other responses you will see that many of the options that Dr. Seppinni offered are not available to me.

Your suggestion in the response to Dr. Seppinni's article, however, gives an answer to a cry for help. And perhaps that's what I needed.

Thank you.

Jer said...

Jeremy, I'll repeat what I said in comment to Leslie's column--please go to a mental health center immediately. I'd also like to ask you to re-think your "no drugs" policy. If you've had recurrent depression medication can help you immensely. You're experiencing a horrible time right now and I can't help you online, but I want you to know I'm thinking about you, praying for you, and hoping that you get help. You don't have to go through this alone. Jeri

Jer said...

To my family: The young man here wrote a letter to an editor and another mental health examiner printed it and responded. I felt her response lacked something, so I commented to this young man. He wrote this note in appreciation basically.

When I talked to Cindy tonight she was a bit confused about it all, and I wanted to explain. Love you all. I'll write tomorrow night after I arrive in LA.