Thursday, August 19, 2004

8/19 Holy shit--what a ride!

A friend wrote in her blog that she doesn't have any real friends where she lives and it almost made me cry. I don't ever write anything serious in here, mainly because this isn't a journal, and it's not for my innermost thoughts. But her blog really made me think, and I don't like that.

I wrote: "Sure there are people that like me, but no one that will call me and ask me to do something. I realized that I always initiate those things. Perhaps it's because everyone I know is 80 years younger than I am (I love hyperbole). Perhaps I'm shallow. Perhaps I'm an asshole in disguise. I hate introspection."

I consider myself a nice person. However, I know I possess character traits that can drive people batty. That's why I love my family. They can tell me off and still love me. And still call me and ask me to do stuff. My 13 year-old niece, Sarah, called me last night just to tell me she missed me and loved me, and wondered when I would visit. My sister, Jane, IMd me this morning to talk about my daughter's visit to Wisconsin and hoping she and her family could visit at the same time. My daughter Jill, and grandkids, IM me every day and we speak via webcam and mic at least once a week. That rocks. A friend from out of town called last night just to chat.

Several years ago I met someone I really clicked with. She and her husband were a few years younger than I, but not too much. Later, when I saw her again after a long time, I said something like, "I had really hoped we could be friends." She answered that I project an image of being so self-sufficient and "non-needy" that it appears I don't need friends, or that I have all the friends I need.

I'm an actor.

Just got one of "those forwards" from my sister-in-law. Normally, I read and delete, but this one I plan to take on as my personal mantra. It reads:

The goal isn't to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "HOLY SHIT...what a ride!"


Bron said...

i totally see what you're saying dudette... I'd call and do stuff with you if I was in the states... hey, I even took you to Wales ;)
I used to be the initiator, now I just dot, unless I have a real reason.. i suppose I assume people would rather not hang out with me, cos if they wanted to they would ask me! But... hey... I say all this stuff but it doesn't really get me down too much, I have lots of stuff to occupy my time.. I mean look where I am now... only in retrospect does it seem a bit pathetic...
Smile Jer :) we rock ;) BRONx

Jer said...

You are so right, girl. Even though you're a lot younger, we do have lots in common and if we lived in the same city we'd do things together. My life is rich, but right now I'm just dwelling on the fact that I left two messages for someone and she hasn't returned them. It's about business mostly, but I have it in my mind that she screened my calls and didn't answer her mobile phone when she saw it was me. Baloney!

We do rock! You are a prestigious director and I won Ms. Congeniality at the WC. Couldn't ask for more than that. Jer