11/20 More tooth woes

I forgot to post what happened with my tooth. So to recap--at lunchtime on Thursday I cracked a tooth while eating a bagel cracker. My dentist took me in immediately. When he looked at it he said, "You must be in a lot of pain." I said, "I wasn't until you told me that."

It cracked and separated all the way to the root. I told him that I'd feel differently if I'd been taking off a beer bottle cap with my teeth, but it was just a damn bagel chip, with lo-fat cheese on it.

I'm done laughing at my jokes now, because to do everything top notch it's going to cost me almost $4000. He said my insurance probably won't cover it because they'll want to do the cheapest option. And he said the prognosis on that working isn't good at all. So I'm calling my dental insurance company tomorrow to see if crying, begging, threatening, whining, or joking will help.

I had three shots to deaden it while he pulled out the already dead piece that had broken off. I don't understand how a tooth can die that quickly. Now the feeling is starting to come back, it hurts and I'm also sad about the dough.

Okay, I'm done whining. If I get the implant, the good news is that I'll never have to get a filling in that tooth. Ba-da-bum!
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I called my insurance company yesterday and told them the three options:

Since the tooth broke under the gum line (ouch), it killed the whole tooth. At least the doc thinks so. He says the cheap way to go and the one the insurance will pay for is to try to save the tooth, do a root canal, a core build-up, and a crown. That will be close to $2000 (approximately $1850-1950). Even though my insurance will pay for it, doc said that he's pretty certain it's not the best way to go, because he doesn't believe we can save the tooth. It's a molar and is very damaged.

Option 2--the one he recommends is to get the tooth extracted, get a titanium implant done by an oral surgeon, and an implant crown. That one is about $3700-3800. Because my other teeth are really good, and should last my whole life, he said we need something for this tooth to last my whole life as well.

Option 3--Extract the bad tooth, PLUS the teeth on either side and get a 3-unit bridge. This will last my whole life, but is a waste of two perfectly good teeth. That's why he recommends #2. Cost of this one is about $2800.
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So of course the insurance company definitely won't cover any of the implant. Guess I'll have to go with the root canal and crown. It's the cheapest, and insurance will cover all but about $750.

This reeks.

I'll call the dentist Monday and give him my decision. The "stuff" he put in the tooth to fill it in the meantime, all fell out the first time I ate. So know there's this big hole in my mouth and of course my tongue goes to it all the time. Ugh. I just want to get this over with.

11/19 the Beatles

Today an acquaintance slammed the Beatles in a Forum I frequent. I responded:

As an Oldie, I need to comment on the Beatles. I don't know if anyone ever loved them as a "band." We never cared about their musical ability. They were a phenomenon. We had never experienced anything like them. Yes, we screamed for the young Elvis. And we loved the Doo Wop of the 50s and early 60s. Motown wasn't the power that it was going to be, but some of those early R&B groups still make me smile.

Ah, but the Beatles. Every young girl had her favorite. And just knew that he would marry her. As a young Catholic girl, I wasn't in favor of divorce, but I would have made an exception in John's case. He needed to divorce Cynthia and marry one of my friends. Paul was mine. Still is.

As far as some of the other groups go, songs still elicit memories for me, and yes they make me smile. Some of the Beach Boys songs make me feel like a high schooler again. Same with the early Stones. Same with some of the very early Ike and Tina Turner, when they weren't national and only some very cool kids knew about them.

I love the Beatles. Musicianship be damned in this case... it's them! The phenomenon! (Paul still loves me best.)

Thanks for slamming them. It made me smile to write this. Jer

11/18 Yikes, my tooth!

While eating lunch (bagel chips and soft cheese) I broke a tooth. I'm very upset. Not about going to the dentist--I don't mind that at all, but I hate leaving work early. There's so much to do. I'll finish at the dentist around 4:30 or 5 PM and will have to come back to work to finish up some stuff before tomorrow. That's what upsets me. I wanted to work on the book tonight like I did last night. But the best laid plans etc. etc.

The show last night was quite enjoyable. I saw seven folks from my own group (out of 12), so that was fun. Got home to find a message on my machine from 4-year old Kayla. "Grandma. Grandma. Hello?? Helloooo? Grandma, why does your phone sound so funny? Mommmmmyyyyy!" Then my daughter spoke for a moment. Cute.

11/17 Hmm, why haven't I posted?

Don't know. It's unusual for me to go three days without posting. I try to do it during my lunchtime but sometimes I forget. My mind is a colander. (I used to say "sieve" but that's a cliche, so I made up one of my own.)

Tonight I'm going to CSz to watch another class's performance. That's sure to be fun.

Am starting to think more and more about home. Even though I have a lot of acquaintances here in Milwaukee, I really don't have a good friend. Someone that I was really close to when I lived here before is now married with a small child. That certainly puts her in a different life phase than me. I still love her, but our relationship was forced to change, and that's not a problem. I'm glad she's happy. We'll see each other every now and then, but there's no more calling me to see if I'd like to go out to dinner, movie, play, whatever. That's what I miss. I noticed that I'm the one who asks people to do stuff. No one calls me.

Guess I need to do some introspection on why that is. (Damn, I hate introspection.) There's no reason to try to look for blame in other people. Why don't I have friends here (versus friendly acquaintances)? One reason for sure is that I enjoy doing things that younger people do--like CSz. Only a very few people there in my age group. My young friends (I'm going to use friends--meaning pals) enjoy being around me sometime, I do know that. But I can't expect them to want to hang out with me all the time.

The last time I lived in Milwaukee I was dating the Prof. Of course that made living here much more palatable. It's not that I don't love Milwaukee. I do. Just well--all the crap I've already written about.

As I think about home, I try to create ways I can do my job long distance--I can certainly write and edit from Quincy. Those are the major parts of my job. But the managerial part would have to go. Am I ready to do that? I'd also have to give up the comaraderie that goes with working in a company. Am I ready to give that up? Guess the answer is no.

Maybe I'm just in a temporary funk. My classes are over for now. Who knows if I'll be in others. Plus, I thought I'd be on a Rec League team with certain people that I've practiced with for a long time. But that's not to be. So I can risk more rejection by asking others to join me on a team, or I can decide to forego the league. Haven't decided yet.

Aarrgghhh! I hate introspection.

11/14 Rob's birthday

Today is my son Rob's 33rd birthday. It seems like a moment ago he was a 2-month old baby in my arms. That's how old he was the day we brought him home from the agency in Hawaii. I'd wanted a baby forever, and we'd been married for more than four years when I discovered I couldn't get pregnant.

We'd been approved for about six months. Back then Hawaii DFCS approved six couples at any one time, and when a child became available that child went to the couple who had the best "fit" with the child. Rob is Samoan, and at the time there were no Polynesian couples, or any couples of color, approved. Out of all the haole couples, my husband was the biggest. So we got Rob. I was so grateful my ex played football in college.

(Haole--pronounced hah-oh-lee--originally meant stranger in Hawaian. Now it commonly means white person.)

When I got the call that a beautiful healthy baby was ours, my husband was in the field on the Big Island. He was in the military. I had no way to reach him. So I called the OOD (officer of the day) and told him the story. He radioed the Big Island and my ex said he had to maintain silence during the manuevers. So as soon as they were supposed to "attack" the other forces, he yelled aloud as he ran, "I'm a FATHER--I have a SON!!"

He came home the next day and we went into Honolulu to pick up Rob. At this point we hadn't even seen a picture of him, but that didn't matter. We walked into the agency and the receptionist said they weren't expecting anyone with our last name. After a few extremely anxious moments, we found out she was brand new and had no idea what she was saying. Then they brought out our baby.

He was gorgeous. I fell in love immediately. They gave us pictures from the first two months of his life in foster care. I cherish those.

Rob's gifted in many ways. He can play any sport, but soccer is his favorite. He can draw and paint. He is musical, has played drums since a kid. And he's smart. I can brag, since he doesn't have my DNA. :)

I'm so in love with both my kids, and I wrote about Jill on her birthday. I wanted to do the same with Rob. Both of them have enriched my lives in ways I never could have imagined prior to their coming into my life. What blessings!

Happy birthday, Rob. Can't wait until you and Beata move home from Japan. I miss you both.

11/12 Happenings, none

Nothing really exciting happening. Except my work. I love doing what I do. I love writing and editing (don't judge either of those skills based upon my quickly-written and unedited blogs). I love that I'm kind of a utility infielder and receive other assignments from the CEO and also the owner.

The owner asked me yesterday to contact Rob and Beata (son and d-i-l), who live in Japan. One of our employees in the Japanese office is leaving and the owner wanted to get him a suitable gift. Rob suggested a bottle of Habu Sake (sake with a poisonous snake coiled inside the bottle). We don't quite know if he was serious or not. He and Beata did give other suggestions too.

Eating lunch--this is when I normally blog. Today it's black olive hummus, scooped up with bagel crisps. Oooh, I love this!

11/11 Another day in the office

Got a lot done. So why does my desk look worse than when I arrived this morning?

Yesterday I went home at 4. Couldn't think; I was so tired. Today I feel pretty darn good.

I work all evening at CSz on Saturday, and Sunday I have a Sisters-in-Crime meeting. Wish I had a day where I didn't have to go out at all. I love those days. Especially when it's cold--like now.

11/10 What fun! zzzzzz

Last night was so much fun, but right now I'm as tired as I can be while still almost functioning. I found that critical thinking is out the window. Also found that I can sleep with my eyes open, while nodding my head, smiling, and pretending to listen to people speak in a meeting. I've regressed to college days. But then, of course, I could stay out all night and still function.

Got home after midnight, to bed after 1 AM, and up at 7 AM and my behind is dragging.

But it was a magical evening. The group performed well, most of us were able to put our lessons into practice. I failed on one thing, the others I did okay. Even shone a little. Thanks, LA James, for teaching me the grandiose, "I FAILED!" (Throw arms up in the air.) "Thank you." (Full theatrical bow.)

There were more than a hundred people there, I was told. I had several friends attend, which was wonderful. We stayed in the CSz bar for a long time after the performance.

My friend, Christine, was the shining star of the evening, I believe. While everyone did well, she grabbed the audience's attention with her risk-taking and wit. I'm happy she was so successful.

I hope I'm able to finish out the day withou ZZZZ ZZZz zzzzzzzzzz drool

11/9 Performance Time

I'm really psyched. Can't wait for the performance tonight. The only bad thing is that it will soon be over. Well, that's life. I've learned so much in this series of workshops...probably more than all the others combined. Or maybe it's that I've absorbed a lot and am ready to put it into practice. Who knows... I'm just excited.

Here's a picture of Kayla with the elephants my co-workers sent her.

11/8 Monday--oh yeah!

I do love my job. Today is overwhelming to the nth degree, but I'll survive. In fact, I'll thrive. (Trying the power of positive thinking here.)

The weekend was busy. Friday night I worked at ComedySportz, the two evening shows. And on both Saturday and Sunday my group rehearsed for our Tuesday CSz show. I'm so psyched about it. Maybe that's why I'm feeling so good today, even though the work is piled so high on my desk that I can't see over it--metaphorically speaking.

At the same time I'm trying to stay up to speed with NANOWRIMO--see that blog if you're interested.

11/5 Death

Yesterday when I got home from work, a neighbor said that Glenn died the night before. Glenn's bedroom is right below mine in the condo building. The police and the coroner were still there, having had to break into his condo. They were waiting for the funeral home to arrive to remove the body.

Glenn and I weren't friends, but we were "hello, how are you" neighbors. I saw him nearly every morning when I went down to the basement garage. He was usually returning from breakfast as I was leaving for work. Kind and polite to me, as I was to him. I liked him, except for his smoking. When our windows were open, the smoke just drifted into my place. I hated that, and won't miss it.

But I'll miss his neighborliness.

I asked Gene if Glenn had any family and was told there was an estranged brother and that was it. That made me sad. I know when I die there will be a host of people grieving. Not bragging, because I have no idea how many friends would grieve, but I'm speaking of family. I'm so blessed to have tons of relatives who love me as I do them.

So I'm grieving for Glenn. Someone needs to.

11/4 UPS came through...

with a check for $22 and not even an acknowledgement that I'd asked for no money, but rather an apology to Kayla. Now that I have the money, I'm pissed that it's not enough. Yuck. Plus they made the check out to my company rather than me, because I shipped from here.

After a semi-productive day at work, I went to the Minor League show at CSz to support some friends. It was a great show, but only about 25 people in the audience, so that was a downer. Other friends had rehearsal elsewhere so I sat by myself. Sat in the front row because no one else was there. Finally a few others joined me. Afterward one friend said she was happy to see me in the front row and to hear my laughter. I'm really glad I went.

Didn't feel well, so I took a lot of work home with me in case I decided to stay home today. But I couldn't do it. It's just a sore throat, so I'm at work. Got in really early because I woke up at 5 AM. Darn geese flying south for the winter--always are honking and waking me up.

11/3 Depression and joy and lots of barrel laughs

I'm much sadder than I thought I'd be about the election results. Sad, and a little scared. But my son will be happy. Damn it.

But Kayla is ecstatic and not about the election. I should have seen this as a forewarning though. The elephants made her happy. (Darn symbols of Republicans.)

The elephants arrived by UPS. She loves them both so much. One is battery operated and one is huggable and plush. She told me the Mommy elephant knows how to walk, but the baby elephant doesn't. Adorable. Jill is going to take pictures and email them to the sweet women who gave the elephants to Kayla.

Last night we had a run through of our CSz Workshop show for next week. I'm pretty stoked about both the number and the type of games I'm playing. The whole group did really well, and I laughed a lot. Afterward we adjourned to the bar for a few drinks. Fun evening--well, except for the election results part.

And so we come full circle.

11/2 I voted

I arrived at the Brown Deer Library around 7:45 AM and was finished by 8:30. Not too bad. It was cloudy and cool, but no rain. I proudly wear my "I voted in Brown Deer" sticker. Very chic.

Am on my lunch break, and am breaking my WW diet in a big way. Eduardo's pizza delivery guys got to pick their three favorite customers and give them free pizza. So I'm chowing down on a deep dish slice, only because it's the only vegetarian one there. Am I feeling guilty? Yes. Will that stop me? No.

Tonight is my final rehearsal before our CSz performance next week. I'm quite excited. I love performing and wish I could do it more often. Perhaps after this class I'll look for a play to audition for. I'd rather do CSz, but I'm far from good enough to be a pro. I'm confident I could get there, but I'm so much older than everyone else. I doubt that it would become a reality. So I might check out something else. Who knows. (Now I'm sad that this is my last workshop.)

10/31 Worked late last night

I had a great time working at ComedySportz yesterday. But I noticed one thing about myself. If I work noon-11PM I get kind of punchy at the end of the shift. Especially after working a full week on my regular job. I found it difficult to balance the books for the last show...it took me a long time. Hate that.

Today, I'm taking it easy. Am watching football and doing laundry right now. Love one/hate the other. Guess which is which.

10/30 Halloween fun

Yesterday at work was really a lot of fun. I ate way too much, but when I got home from work I was still full, so I didn't eat dinner. I think it will be okay. As of yesterday I'm down 17.5 pounds in 9 weeks and am thrilled. Only lost 1/2 pound but that's because I went home to Quincy last weekend for the celebration. This week will turn out better.

Today I work 10-12 hours at CSz. It will be very tiring, but should be fun. We're giving discounts to people who wear costumes, which will make accounting a little more difficult. Plus I'll have to make hard decisions like--does a crazy tie count as a costume? Earth-shattering decisions like that.

Tomorrow I'll sleep a good part of the day most likely. Then will get my laptop and notes set up to begin NANOWRIMO on Monday after work.

My NANO blog.

10/29 One-issue voters

I get emails all the time from people who urge me to vote for George Bush because he's pro-life and I say Hogwash! He might be anti-abortion, but I don't see him as pro-life at all. Here's what I wrote on a friend's blog:

I'm a Right to Lifer too--but I'm a LIBERAL in every other sense of the word. I loved what the late Cardinal Behrnadin of Chicago said... he called it a consistent ethic of life (at first he called it a seamless garment, but everyone used that for their own purposes, so he changed it).So what I see--If I'm pro-life and I really believe that, I have to vote for the person I see as more pro-life, if that's the only issue I'm looking at (and it's certainly not). But I see Kerry as more pro-life than Bush. If I believe life starts at conception and ends at death, then the 9 months in the womb is a much shorter span of time than the 70 some years we have left. A consistent ethic tells me that I should respect life in all its forms--not just in the womb, but in the unemployment line, in the homeless shelters, on death row, in a bunker in Afghanistan, lying in a hospital in Iraq, grieving over my dead child in the US, etc. I can't put a value on one life over another. Except for my children of course, they have a higher value. :) Not trying to convince anyone, but wanted to express why I think Kerry is more pro-life than Bush. Jer (GET OUT AND VOTE!)

10/28 Kayla and Beata

I spoke to Kayla Tuesday and again today. Hunter didn't want to talk either day. But Kayla talked my arm off. I just adore her. She talked to me about Halloween. She's going to her pre-school party as Mulan (an outfit I'd bought her a while back). She's thrilled because normally she can't go outside in that outfit. She said her dad bought her shoes to go with it. And in Glasgow I found the perfect flower for her hair to complete the ensemble. Can't wait to see the pictures.

And this morning, while I was getting ready for work, Beata and Rob called from Japan. Bea was so excited. She had gotten her GED, even though English isn't her first language, and is now in college. After her second class she called to tell me of her experience. She'd been shy because of her Polish/Danish accent, thinking that people would stare at her or, even worse, laugh. But Rob encouraged her, and she spoke up in her class and was pleased that she knew answers that others didn't. After class she spoke with the professor while she waited for Rob to finish one of his classes. She said she told the professor about me--about how supportive I am, and how much she loves me. Also that I'm a writer and editor (don't look at my typos in my blogs). She really brought a smile to my face. Then Rob got on for a moment. I only had another minute before I had to leave for work. Normally it doesn't matter when I'm late but on Thursdays I lead the all-staff meeting and have to be on time. So Rob and I exchanged quick "I love yous" and I let both of them know that we're still anxiously awaiting their arrival. Rob said he got tired of wasting time just waiting for the Army to do what they said they're going to do. So they both enrolled in school. If the Army gives him orders back to the States, he said they'll drop school in a heartbeat.

Gosh, I miss them.

10/27 Elephants are gone from my desk

My work is becoming more and more taxing. Am I crazy that I love being so busy? Probably.

One downside--I may not get the part-time help I'd planned on. That's causing a little anxiety, but we'll see how it plays out.

Last night's rehearsal was stupendous. We played Replay for most of the session, and I enjoyed it so much. The class was small--only eight people showed up. Usually we have 12, so we got a lot more stage time, which isn't a bad thing at all. Our show is in two weeks and having more practice time (equaling more fun time) is awesome.

I shipped the elephants yesterday. And Kayla is looking forward to getting them. And I haven't heard yet from UPS whether they'll send her a letter of apology. We'll see.

10/26 Bye-bye elephants!

Because two lovely people in my office wanted Kayla to be happy, I now have two rather large elephants sitting on my desk. I must send them to Kayla immediately! Someone walked by, saw the elephants and said, "I hope that's a symbol of how you're voting." Yikes...get these "things" off my desk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10/25 The party's over

I'm back in Milwaukee. Arrived yesterday afternoon.

I got to bed at 1 AM on Sunday and had to get up at 5 AM to catch the train, so I didn't get any work done on the way back to Milwaukee--or when I got home.

Joe and Cindy's 25th Wedding Anniversary Celebration was awesome. We began with an inpromptu lunch on Saturday--ten of us. It was great, and I ate really healthfully, despite being surrounded by mounds of french fries.

At five we all went to Mass together at the church two blocks from where we grew up. That was very cool. Joe and Cindy live in the house we grew up in. Of course it's a lot different now--much nicer.

At the party itself, I ate way too much, but not enough to feel guilty. So I think that's pretty darn good for a huge family celebration. Got lots of comments on how good I looked. And I danced all night. I mean it. My sister, Jan, and I got out on the floor with the kids and had a ball. Jan (she of the size 7 body--we hate her) quit before I did. She said she wanted to visit with our aunts and uncles. I said she didn't have as much energy as I did. But I do feel bad that I didn't visit as much as I could have. I just felt really good, had lots of energy and really enjoyed being around the kids. My niece, Jenna, introduced me to her boyfriend as the cool aunt. And nephews clamored to play "Jer games." But of course it really wasn't the place for it, but I promised that I'd teach them some new games when I get to Quincy for Christmas. This one day turnaround wasn't easy.... but it was sooooo worth it. I love being around my family. Happy Anniversary, Joe and Cindy!

10/23 Quincy IL

I took the train home last night. Got a lot of work done organizing my NANOWRIMO novel while spending 6 hours riding. Am home for Joe and Cindy's 25th wedding anniversary. I arrived last night at 10:45 and will leave Sunday morning at 6 AM. Wow, what a short trip. But today should be fun. A bunch of family members are getting together for lunch. Then tonight we're all going to Mass and then the big celebration. It will be like a wedding reception...lots of beer, food and people you only see at weddings and funerals. I CAN'T WAIT!

10/22 Another blog?

I began another blog a few days ago, but the link doesn't work on my website yet (you can reach it from the link in this note). It's about NANOWRIMO and will be a different kind of blog. Although I won't post my entire manuscript, because posting on the Web is considered publishing the novel, I will post excerpts, but also write about the struggles of writing at least 50,000 words during the month of November. Unfortunately I can't fix the link on my website yet because I'm going out of town for the weekend, and don't know if I'll have the time to fix it until Monday. We'll see.

A little miracle happened this morning. I was coming from the break room with my coffee and Sandy, an Executive Assistant extraodinaire, stopped me and said, "I want Kayla to know that not everyone is like that bad person who took her elephant." And she handed me an adorable gray and pink elephant. Kayla will just love it. I got tears in my eyes of course, and told her I'd hug her except I had coffee and an elephant in my hands, plus there was a desk between us. Her gesture really touched me, and I'm so grateful for her thoughtfulness.

Lots happening today. We're having a going-away party at work for a reservist who got called up and is going to Iraq. Plus I'm leaving at 2 to take the train to Quincy for my brother Joe's 25th wedding anniversary--and of course it's his wife Cindy's anniversary too. :) More later about all this.

10/21 Better News

John is doing much better. The angioplasty was successful and he won't have to have surgery. Jill is driving from LA to Fresno anyway and will spend a few days there. (4-year old Kayla explained this last sentence to me over the phone. The kids seem to really understand why Mom is going and Dad is staying home and watching them.)

So I'm very happy that things are working out for John and his family.

This episode has made me even more committed to my health program. I joined Weight Watchers Online and in 8 weeks (tomorrow) have lost 16 pounds. I'm so pumped by that. And I will keep it up (said to convince myself).

Just came from Q-Doba where I ordered a naked vegetarian taco salad. I LOVE IT!

10/20 Bittersweet memories

My daughter, Jill, just contacted me. Her dad is in the hospital with a heart attack and is being evaluated for possible surgery. This news really hit me. He's quite a bit younger than I am, and also more overweight than I am.

So funny that when we were married we were both in such good shape. We exercised, ran, and did all sorts of outdoor activities--backpacking, camping, rappelling, canoeing, caving. We were always out doing something with our kids.

I'm thinking now about a lot of things--all the great times we had (not thinking of the painful stuff), how we both let ourselves go after the divorce, and I'm also thinking about his family. His wife and their son who is only 4. He's just two months older than Kayla, our grand-daughter. So John's got so many reasons to get healthy.

I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes even though we've been divorced for more than 20 years.

10/19 Guest Book and Stuffed Elephant

I finally put up my Guest Book on my home page, and my daughter wrote something last night. Can't tell you how cool that feels--I mean, I'm teaching myself all this stuff and am so proud every time something actually works.

I talked to Kayla last night. Ended up telling her that a bad guy probably stole her elephant, or else they just can't find it. She said, "They can't find it, Grandma? What are we going to do?" She said it in a problem-solving way, not crying or upset. I told her that if they don't find her elephant, I'll buy her a new one. So she yelled at her mom something about, "Don't worry. Grandma's going to buy me a new elephant." Then she told me, "Remember--small, soft, and with a tail that curves out from the bottom." She added, "I really need a winter dress, and Daddy said to ask you." She loves to wear dresses (even as she climbs trees, etc.) but hers are mostly summer ones. So I buy her a winter dress every year so she'll have one for what the Southern Californians laughingly call "winter."

At work, a huge set of responsibilities moved to me today. It's stuff I used to do, before I took over the job I currently have. There's no way I can do it all, so I know I'm going to get to hire some help soon. But for right now, I'm feeling overwhelmed. When that happens I don't get much work done at all. So on my train trip to Quincy Friday I plan to do some organizing of everything I have to do. Plus make notes for my NANOWRIMO novel. Thank God for laptop computers.

Tonight my CSz class starts at 6:30 instead of 7 and I'm happy about that. I need to laugh.

10/18 I forget what Mondays are like

Over the weekend I actually forget how busy I am at work. Today just rocked. So much to do. Time just flew by. And tomorrow will be the same, because I haven't even finished going through all my weekend email yet. The new website is keeping me very busy.

Tomorrow though I have to prepare for another online newsletter that I'll publish on 11/1, and will also prepare for the Sales and Marketing meeting as well as proof the Online Media Kit, and begin editing the articles for the next hard-copy Journal. And that's just with my first cup of coffee.

Okay, I'm lying. That--plus reading about 20 trade magazines--will take up my whole day, and I'm sure I won't finish all the reading/skimming.

BUT I LOVE IT!

Haven't talked to Kayla yet about the elephant. Just can't seem to be home when the kids are awake. So Jill and I plan for me to deliver the news tomorrow.

We should be hearing from the delivery service by the end of the week or early next week regarding their investigation. The saga continues.

10/17 Packers Win!

Funny how something as simple as the results of a football game can just make my day! Right now it's 4th Quarter with 10 minutes to play and the Pack is winning 38-10. Wow.

The only downside is that since Green Bay's defense had been playing so badly, I benched them on my Fantasy Football team and substituted St. Louis. The Rams just better look good when they play, or I'm sunk.

In the meantime, I'll just continue to feel great about Green Bay. Some days it hurts to be a Cheesehead. Today's not one of them.

10/16 Winter comes too soon

It feels like snow.

When I went to work at CSz at noon, I didn't even wear a sweater, much less a coat. When I got in my car to go home at 5:30, I couldn't believe the weather change. I stopped at the grocery store and there were only two of us without a winter coat on, and the other guy was drunk. Guess he was warm in his own little way.

Wow. Glad I don't have to go out tomorrow if I don't want to. I'm just not ready for this. But when I'm watching the Packer game tomorrow, and I'm drinking hot chocolate, or a hot toddy, or a cold beer, I'll be glad it's winter. 'Cause that's the only way the Packers are going to win any games.

10/14 Poor, poor elephant!

When Kayla returned to Los Angeles with her family, she left a stuffed elephant in the sleeping bag at Grandma's house. Two weeks ago I sent it to her via UPS. Also in the package was the newspaper her picture appeared in, and a little plastic kickstand to Hunter's toy motorcycle. All told worth about $10. Cost me more than $9 to ship. Not a huge investment, except when you think about a four-year-old girl who asks every day why it's taking so long for her elephant to come home.

UPS today told us that the package was found, and it was empty. I understand that someone who is a thief is going to open whatever package he or she wants to find something valuable. But when they found a toy elephant, why in the world wouldn't they just put it with the empty box.

So today, when UPS faxes me the claim form I'm going to say I don't want any money, but what I would like is for them to send Kayla a soft, stuffed elephant and a note of apology. We'll see if that happens.

10/13 Work interrupts my fun

Last night was another good class at CSz with a great bunch of folks. The first exercise we did, on establishing the "where," was enlightening, but got a bit boring because everyone had to do the exercise and we dissected every one. It took most of the class to do it. After that though, we did a great CSz game, Forward-Reverse, and had a lot of fun with that. Next week we'll have class for three hours because we're doing mime and gibberish games, and they take a lot of time.

We didn't go out last night because Jordan locked his keys in his car and lots of folks pitched in to help. I knew they didn't need me, so I went home. Christine ended up saving the day by being the one to finally get the coat hangar to work. WTG!

Lots going on today. Even though I'm tired, I'm not feeling out of it or anything, because there's so much work to be done. This new website is tons of fun, but for some reason every time I try to sign on to work on it, it says the dreaded Access Denied! How frustrating. And our web guru is off-site at a meeting, so I can't get help on this yet. Luckily (?) I have much more stuff on my desk that needs attention, so it's okay.

BTW, I'm number 4 in my Fantasy Football League. Out of 20. I'm pretty impressed, especially since this is my first year doing it. But of course we're only five weeks in, and I haven't played the top teams yet. Yahoo goes by W-L record and not points. So that's the only reason I'm number 4. Otherwise I'd be number 16. And in my work football pool, I really suck. Last place. Looks like I'll have to pay more attention.

C'mon Packers!!!!! You can do it. (I think that will really help motivate them.)

10/12 Another lunchtime blog

Today is a good day at work. I've accomplished several tasks that needed to be done. So now there are only 28 more items on my "to-do" list. Two meetings yet this afternoon, but both will be interesting, I think.

Got an email from one of my high school chums, and it seems she's not able to make it to the NC get-together either. So that's three of us that can't go. But the ones who are going will have such a great time. JC is a delightful and welcoming hostess. We visited her when she lived in St. Louis. I'll think about them all this weekend when I'm working at CSz, or sitting at home pouting.

I really need to get my thoughts together for NANOWRIMO. Writing is fast and furious during November. It's crazy but it's fun.

10/11 Posting late in the afternoon

I'm trying to develop the habit of blogging during my lunchtime, but failed today. We're launching a re-vamp of one of our websites this month, so I'm really busy writing and proofing. Luckily I don't have to do any of the hard stuff--programming and design. Just writing and proofing. Not too hard, but it's very time-consuming.

I'm very excited about one of the Journals I edit. Articles aren't due to me until the beginning of December and I've already received commitments for four articles. Amazing. I won't have to go hunting this issue. That certainly reduces an editor's anxiety. Hope it doesn't go in the opposite direction where I have to decide which ones need to be cut. I've already said "No, thanks" to those articles that don't fit the theme of the issue. So far the ones that fit the theme have all been excellent. I have a promised one from law enforcement, one from school, one from a psychiatric hospital, one from residential treatment, and a promised one from another hospital. Plus a reprint from another magazine. I might have to cut the reprint, which is okay with me.

In the past this particular Journal did mostly reprints. For some reason, since I've taken over we've gotten more original articles. I don't take any credit for that, but I am very happy it's happened. No matter what the reason.

10/10 I love Sundays

I've felt so overcommitted lately. No time to just relax.

I worked until 10:30 last night, got home around 11 PM. Today I slept in, went to the grocery store, and am now being lazy. I'll watch football and catch up on shows I've taped. (Gotta love that DVR.)

Even though I'm relaxing today, I'm feeling guilty about not going in to work. My desk is overfull and tomorrow is stacked with busy-ness. I'm going to try to get that out of my mind, and just enjoy the day.

Spoke to Jill and Kayla yesterday--Hunter wasn't interested in talking to me. But it was still wonderful. A nice respite in an otherwise busy day.

Gotta run--the couch is calling me.

10/8 Taking a brief time-out

Taking a break at work. This day has also been full--but exciting as well. I made a proposal and feel pretty good about the results. It may not be exactly what I want, but it will be close enough to make me smile.

Right now I have a 60-page journal to edit and I still haven't started. I sure don't want to do it over the weekend, and it's due to the printer first thing Monday morning, so I need to get busy. Cheers! Jer

10/7 Busy, busy and more busy

Can't believe how time is whizzing by. Tuesday night's workshop was excellent as usual. We focussed primarily on listening, and it was a hoot. Bogan's a really good teacher. Afterward we all went over to Slim's to visit for a while. That was nice. Had a beer and it felt so good to relax. Got home about 10:30 PM.

Wednesday was another crazily busy day at work. It's strange how much I love this kind of busy-ness. No fear of ever getting bored. Then Wednesday night I went to the Minor League performance at CSz because several buddies were performing. It was fun--and an old friend from a former workshop was there and sat with me.

I work Saturday night at CSz, doing both late shows. But it won't be so frantic this week, as Amy S. will be in the Box Office with me.

Speaking of frantic, I have so many major projects on the burner right now. Also, in the midst of all the piles of papers on my desk, I get asked to do lots of "little things." Like edit an 8-page paper that must go out today, and more tasks like that. Plus there's a 60 page journal in my mailbox waiting for a copyedit that must go to the printer tomorrow. But I'm still taking my lunch break so I can write here.

No complaints about the work though. As I always say, it's job security.

A few bad news-es: First, our Research Analyst, who I hired two years ago, is in the Army Reserve and is being called up to active duty. He found out yesterday and announced it today at our All Staff meeting. It really choked me up. I lead the meeting and found it hard to speak. It told Bob later that I felt emotion for him, but also because of my son, who is still in the Special Forces and hopefully will be home from Asia this year.

The other bad news is that I was supposed to go to NC to visit with some high school chums. We try to do this every few years, in between class reunions. It's such a fun time. But I had to cancel. Mostly because of financial reasons. I'm working my ass off trying to get out of debt, and got rid of credit cards--so if there's no money there, there's no money there, and no way to extend credit. I'm finally proud of how I'm dealing with money, but also so disappointed that I can't go. They're great people, and so fun. At least I'll see them all next year at our class reunion.

I keep Kayla's mantra in mind: "You're a lucky bug." And indeed I am.

10/5 NANOWRIMO

Taking time from my lunch break to blog. (Sounds almost dirty, doesn't it?)

I signed up for NANOWRIMO again this year. That stands for National Novel Writing Month. Every November (for the past six years) people commit to writing at least 50,000 words during the month of November. I did it last year, but a lot of it was just plain bad writing, so I have about 25,000 words worth keeping I think. My unfinished manuscript, Reality is Murder, is from last year's contest. I really like the concept and should complete it. It's about a reality show that turns deadly.

The pace of writing is very difficult during November. Writing 50,000 words means that outside of working my two jobs, I won't find much time to do anything else, like watch every television show currently on TV. (Yep, I'm an addict. Hey, maybe there's a story in that.)

I'll try to keep up with my writing, and will post my progress, and maybe even snippets from the manuscript. I dread this, but eagerly anticipate it at the same time. Fodder for books, huh?

10/3 To Madison and Back

Last night, working at CSz, was a real trip. So busy and fun. The nice thing is that the boss realized we always need two people in the box office on Saturday nights, so I really appreciate that. And both shows pretty much balanced out. I think I was $3 for the early show and right on the money for the late show. I feel GOOD.

Got home about midnight and stayed awake until 2 AM. Woke up at 9, did a little work, then met Susan for a drive to Madison for the organizational meeting of Sisters in Crime, Wisconsin...hereafter known as SinC-WI. Quite an enjoyable trip. Turns out Susan and I have much in common including being rabid Packer fans. Downside is they lost today. That's another story.

We met at the Booked for Murder bookstore. Nice people. Majority of members are lawyers. I sure felt out of place. :) But the serendipitous thing is that Susan is a lawyer, writing a police procedural, and one of her heroes is a trauma counselor. She was going to go to UWM to seek advice, but when I told her I was a Certified Trauma Counselor, she said that I could be that resource. What fun. And I'll use her for my "lawyer-like" questions.

A good day. Well, except for the Packers...

10/1 All is not pleasant in paradise; well maybe it is

For some reason I had a rotten day at work. Way too much to do, and normally I love that. Staying busy is fun, plus it's job security. But today was different. First, I have to practically re-do a whole newsletter. Okay, I'm overreacting, but I do have to re-write a bunch of it. Again, normally that doesn't bother me. Writers are used to that. Write and re-write, edit, re-write. Smile upon completion. But so many details in it. My boss found so many things she doesn't like. And usually that's fine with me, but she's never found this much in the newsletter that she doesn't like. She knows much more about journalism than I do. I'm a converted social worker after all. But today, it felt overwhelming.

Plus I'm assisting in revamping a website. Of course, I'm no web maven, I'm just doing a ton of busy work. Copy, paste, save, cuss when an error message comes up. Repeat. Over and over for hour after hour. I'm developing a hump in my back from hunching over the computer. It's one of those tasks where you can't see the end. I'm transferring all articles from three years of newsletters from one website to another. Because of the content manager we're now using, this can't be done automatically. Yawn.

Today I feel almost powerless. Unusual. And it will probably pass in an hour or so...as soon as I get home and relax.

I really need to think about yesterday morning. At an all-staff meeting, someone read emails from customers commenting on how valuable and compassionate our last Journal was. That one was all mine--editing wise. I found the writers, developed the theme, and edited the journal. So my heart was really warmed. Dwell on that good feeling. Okay... breathe.

You know, it's getting better. I have a great job and I love it. Almost all the time. There are plenty of people who can't say the same.

9/30 Payday and More

Last night was fun. It was great catching up with Bruce prior to his performance. The only downside was that not many people showed up. Three of my friends were there (thank you Virginia, Bill and Joel), one of my friends wrote to say he couldn't find the place, and Bruce had three friends there as well. Other occupants of the coffee house were UWM students with their respective noses in their respective books. Yet they were still polite and applauded, seeming to enjoy the concert.

Bruce was awesome. He played as if he were in Carnegie Hall with an SRO crowd. I loved it. I just hope he wasn't too disappointed in the turnout. He said he wasn't, so I need to believe him. He sold three CDs, and some people put a little money in the pitcher. As we were leaving he remarked, "Good. Gas money."

When I left for work this morning, Bruce was still asleep on the sofa bed. I haven't spoken to him today, but I hope he's doing well on his trip to his next performance in Minnesota.

Here's Kayla's picture that was in the newspaper a few days ago:

9/29 Newspaper Photo

Turns out Kayla was on the front page of the Metro section yesterday in the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel. I missed it. But luckily some friends will bring in their newspapers for me tomorrow. Michele scanned one and emailed it to me. Kayla was adorable. Can't wait to see the newspaper itself. Have to send one to Jill, of course.

Jill called with a minor emergency. Did I have Kayla's stuffed elephant? I looked and it was hiding in the bottom of the sleeping bag. So I'll mail it to Kayla. Emergency over.

In a little while I'll leave to go to Anodyne Coffee Roasters to meet Bruce. He's set to start playing at 8 but will probably arrive earlier. I'm so tired from the last several days, but I'm sure the combination of good music and caffeine will keep me awake.

9/28 Here today, gone today

Jill, Todd, Kayla and Hunter left this morning. I set my alarm for 5:30 so they could get to the airport on time. Unfortunately I was already awake, because I was sleeping with Miss "I don't want to sleep in the sleeping bag, Grandma. I want to sleep with you." Kayla is what I might understatedly call a restless sleeper. She talks, makes noises and kicks all night. The experience wouldn't have been horrible if I didn't have a 18 hour day in front of me. So I have been awake since 3 AM and won't get home until 10 or later tonight. I'm yawning.

The visit was so wonderful. It's heartwarming to hear "I love you" so often. My grandchildren say it frequently, as does my daughter, and it sounds so good.

Yesterday, Jill and Todd slept in a little and by the time everyone had eaten breakfast and showered, it was about 11. We visited my office. Both little chatterboxes played the shy card, and I had to laugh at that. I'd been bragging about them for years, and finally my collegeagues got to meet them and neither one spoke. I think Hunter said a few words to my friend Bill and that was it. Kayla stood behind me with her forehead against my bottom--like we were cojoined. I had to keep laughing about it, because it must have looked strange indeed. And since I laughed, she kept doing it.

After the tour, we stopped in Wauwatosa at the Chancery and had a delicious lunch. Both kids behaved, and that added to the ambiance. Hunter finally got restless so I took both kids outside so Jill and Todd could finish eating. The kids were climbing on some metal sculptures that looked like dragons to them. A man came up, said he was from the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel and could he take pictures of the kids for the newspapter. He said he was out and about looking for photos of people enjoying the day. I asked to see his ID which was around his neck. It looked legitimate so I said okay. He must have taken a hundred pictures, and even snuck in a few of me beaming at the kids. Jill and Todd joined us and gave their assent also. So if anyone from Milwaukee reads this, PLEASE give me the newspaper if Kayla and Hunter are in it. Thanks.

We went to Lake Park and played on the playground. Everyone had fun with that, and I got some great shots. I'll post some tonight or tomorrow. After that we stopped at a Harley dealership because Hunter is CRAZY about bikes. Todd rides motorcross (Jill did too until after the second child). H can't wait until he gets a bike. Carries a toy one around constantly. There was a child's ride in the dealership. For 50 cents each, both kids had a chance to ride a child-sized Harley. I think that was the hit of the day.

We came home and I made dinner for the kids while Jill and Todd went out to dinner. It was their 7th anniversary. Very nice. I enjoyed my time alone with the kids, until it got to be bedtime, and both of them wanted to wait for their parents. Luckily they got home early.

It was a memorable visit. But when I think about them getting on the elevator to leave, the tears start again. Guess that's the only downside of being a Grandma.

9/26 Ah, Sunday!

I worked several hours at CSz last night and didn't get to sleep until 2 AM. So it was nice to sleep in today. In a few hours the kids will be back so of course I'm ecstatic.

Instead of doing anything productive, I've been playing online Scrabble.

I put several pictures on my website, but haven't got any fantastic ones yet. The kids barely stayed still. Here are a few: Kayla is inside a large Harley motorcycle at the Children's Museum. Hunter is running and playing on the stage at CSz.

9/24 Back to work

Yesterday was just an all-around perfect day. Except of course that Jill, Todd, Kayla and Hunter left. But they'll be back Sunday. It was such a pleasure having them visit, and I can't wait to see them again for a few more days.

I worked at CSz last night. It was a small house, but a decently responsive one. After I closed out my work, I watched the show for a few minutes and enjoyed the laugh. Then home, where I caught up on some TV. Tonight I get to be at home, and relax a little. Tomorrow is Saturday and I'll work at CSz. Should be fun though.

Now that I'm working two jobs I've noticed that my writing has really suffered. I need to clarify my priorities for when I'm home. Is it watching Survivor? Or finishing my novels? On the surface it seems like an easy choice. But lately watching Survivor is winning.

9/23 Family fun

Kayla and I woke up earlier than everyone else and we walked to the corner restaurant (Family Table) for breakfast. It was an entertaining and remarkable time, when we caught up on everything that's happening the 4-year-old Kayla's life.

Then Kayla decided she wanted to go to my doctor's appointment with me. I finally saw an orthopedist for my foot. Some amazing news...well, the bad stuff first. I have to sleep with a splint on. It's big and uncomfortable, but is supposed to do wonders. I need to go back in two to three months. If it's not better they'll put a cast on my foot.

The good news is that when I played kickball and ruptured those tendons--well, that was ultimately a good thing. One drastic treatment the docs do is go in and "release" some of the tendons. Seems like I did that myself when I ruptured them. Doc said that my way hurt a lot more, but still will most likely stop me from having surgery. How cool is that?

After that all five of us went to the Children's Museum. I love that place and we had such a blast there. Of course the two kids loved it and didn't want to leave. But we got hungry and had lunch at the Third Ward Cafe. It's a really nice Italian restaurant. I had a gift certificate for there. And more good news is that my gift certificate covered the whole bill. Hooray for that!

We followed lunch with a tour of CSz. The kids had a ball jumping, running, and tumbling on the stage. Now they're napping (or are supposed to be napping) and I need to get ready for work at CSz. They're leaving tonight to go up north for Todd's brother's wedding, but they'll be back Sunday. Can't wait. I love this Grandma stuff. Wish I had more time to spend just talking to Jill, but that can't be helped. It's all good.

9/22 Happy happy happy

Just finished cleaning up from dinner. A dinner prepared with the help of Kayla and Hunter (ages 4 and 2). Their job was to tear up the lettuce and they loved that they were in charge of it. I'm in Grandma heaven. Kayla is going to sleep in my room. Hunter will sleep with his mom and dad. It's so good seeing my daughter Jill too. She's such a remarkable young woman. More later--Kayla wants to sit in my lap and it's hard to type. A great problem to have.

9/22 Everything's looking up

I've been feeling a little down, but that's gone, and I'm back to my sunny self. So many things are going right.

I love both my jobs, I have new brake pads on my car, I've lost 9 pounds, my new CSz workshop started last night, and my daughter and family arrive today. How could I be depressed? Oh, yeah--I need more money, the world is going to hell in a handbasket, I'm still fat, blah blah blah. Okay, I'm done with the negativity.

Class last night was the best! I love Bogan as a teacher--had him in 103. When we make mistakes that block the scene from progressing, he stops us immediately then has us continue. Some others might let you finish the scene and then give you feedback. I love the immediacy of his comments. He doesn't let you keep making the same mistake, and I appreciate that. I also love that there's some other older folks in the group, so I'm not just with 20-somethings this time. I love the youngsters, don't get me wrong, some of them are good friends. But it's nice to not be the only gray head in the group. Everyone went to the Ale House afterward but I couldn't go as I still had some stuff to finish at home to prepare for company.

There are other neat things being planned for us amateurs and they sound like fun. I love acting, I love comedy, and I love being able to combine the two.

9/21 $365.95

I just redeemed my car from the pawn shop known as Auto Repair. Front brake pads, front brake rotor, adjust rear brakes that, thank God, didn't need fixing. Yet it was worth all 36,595 pennies because my grandkids are coming tomorrow. They need a safe car.

9/20 I understand road rage

For the very first time I understand road rage. It had me in it's fiery grip today. A young woman cut me off this morning on the freeway. I was really mad, but under control, and gave her a sarcastic "thumbs up" sign. She must have mistaken it for the finger, and flipped me the bird and laughed. Anger erupted. "I'll show her." I took off after her, speeding up. Wasn't looking at other lanes, no defensive driving, just anger. She was my total focus.

Suddenly, I realized what I was doing. I slowed down and got into the right lane where I could drive more slowly with the traffic. Surprised? Absolutely. Where did that rage come from? Is there something else going on in my life to explain this misdirected anger? I don't know yet, but I hope I find out. It's disconcerting to say the least.

I'm not happy that I understand road rage. It was much easier when I could laugh at people who got angry so easily.

9/19 My condo building

Someone died in my condo building Friday. I live in a place where I'm the "young chick." The average age must be 70. One person I really like is 93 and going strong. But I found out that a woman who is only two years older than I am was found in her condo. I haven't been able to find out any details at all, but it's unnerving on different levels. First of all her age. But secondly, she's the second acquaintance to die recently. Both relatively young. Both a surprise to me. Both were people that could have been close friends but weren't.

I first met Joan last summer at the pool. She swam every day and so did I. She didn't work, but made sure she came outside when I was swimming laps after work. At first I really liked that--someone in my building with whom I could be friends. She asked me to go to see fireworks at Summerfest and I couldn't make it. She asked me to do something else and I couldn't as well. On both occasions I could have changed my other plans and gone, but there was just something offputting about her. She invited me into her place and I accepted, and she ended up showing me home videos of her going to the Circus Museum in Bariboo WI--a famous place here. It was boring for me, but I knew she was alone and that her mother had died just a few years prior, so I was patient and suffered through it. She asked if I wanted to see more videos of their trips and I declined. She finally blew up at me once at the pool when she was bashing Arabs and Muslims (she was Jewish and had worked in Israel on a kibbutz for a time) and I said I didn't think the question was as black and white as she painted it. She just blew up at me and started screaming. I finally said that life was too short for me to hang around with people who treated me the way she had and that I wasn't interested in spending time with her.

When I heard of her death, I flashed back to this lonely woman who wanted an almost total stranger to see videos of her mom. I remembered her mother calling her "Joanie," and that she must have been devestated when her mother died, because except for the sojourn to Israel they'd always lived together.

I said the Arab-Israeli conflict isn't black and white. Neither was Joan.

9/18 Saturday returns

Today is a good Saturday. My cleaning friend is coming over. So that means I put everything away and clear out. I'm going into work for the afternoon to try to catch up. Then I'll work both shows tonight at CSz.

Besides the obvious benefit of getting a clean house, I love having someone come over because it forces me to put things away. Normally I pile things on my mirrored dresser in my bedroom.

One of the reasons I work a second job is because I don't want to give up having someone clean my house. It's a luxury sure, but I'll pay for that rather than going to movies. I've done a great job of economizing...so much so that I desperately need new clothes. But I've lost 7 pounds in the last three weeks and I don't want to spend money on stuff I'll shrink out of. Yes, that's wishful thinking. And I do have some clothes here that are still too tight, so they should fit soon. Some are out of style. (What were we thinking with those shoulder pads?) I'm doing WW online, the CORE program and so far it's working well and I'm very satisfied with all the food I get. I'm too lazy and undisciplined to count points, so CORE is just made for me.

Wednesday Jill and family arrive. I'm stoked.

9/17 Waxing poetic

On my writers' bb, we were talking about the wonder of children and I liked what I posted, so will post part of it here.

"Your description matched my feelings perfectly about the wonder of children and the hope they bring to all of us. My grandkids are coming to visit on Wednesday and my heart is already leaping. 4 year-old Kayla, having told me that she is really Princess Kayla Mulan, is such a beauty inside and out. And 2 year-old Hunter proudly yelled into the phone, "I'm a big boy. I went poop." How can you not love that? I have a wall full of pictures of Rob and Jill throughout their life. It hangs in my dressing area and every day I am overwhelmed with love. My story is different than yours. It's the story (you know it already) of trying for many years to get pregnant in an era when there were no other ways to try. No drugs, no procedures. Just people asking "when." Being from this huge Catholic family, it's unusual to have a childless couple. The adoption of both my kids stands out as my greatest accomplishment--oops, wrong word...rather the highlights of my life. They've both exceeded my expectations and my dreams. They both bring me hope."

9/16 Insomniacs R Us

Woke up at 3 AM and couldn't go back to sleep. Watched a few episodes of Queer Eye that I'd taped. Tried again to sleep. No luck. So I came into work early. Got here before 6:30. It was pretty funny because there's a woman who always comes in at 6:30 even though our work day doesn't start until 8:30. So she always is in the first parking space. But today I parked there and was the one who turned off the alarm system etc. Everyone as they drive into the lot will know there's something wrong with the world--that my car is in the first space. I love it.

Got an email yesterday from my brother's daughter's mother (long story about that relationship). Anyway, she has an agent/editor and they want me to write a blurb to be included in their book proposal. Originally I was going to edit the book and assist them in finding an agent, but with two jobs now I don't even have time for my own writing. So I'm glad they were able to get help.

I helped edit one of my friend's books and got paid for it. That was awesome, and something I'd like to do more of. This blog is informal, but when I write formally or edit for publication, I'm really persnickety. And I'm damn good.

9/15 I love work!

Work is becoming more and more interesting, and I didn't think that was possible. Besides all the writing and publishing I do, I'm now doing additional work on the websites. Additionally I'm project manager on our legislative efforts. Very cool.

Also, with my recent confusion and frustration at my other job, I wrote an email and asked for clarification. And to my delight, things are being addressed. What a great feeling.

Today's my third day in shoes and I'm in foot heaven. Next week I have an appointment with another orthopedist, this one highly recommended by my own doctor.

I put into next year's budget that I need a digital handheld recorder with the ability to download interviews into my computer. That way I won't have to mess with microcassettes anymore...plus I'll be able to save all the interviews much more easily. I'm very excited about it and can't wait. It'll be like a technological Christmas.

Two of our training programs got canceled this week because of the weather--one in Alabama and one in Louisiana. Luckily our employees were able to catch flights out. One is already back in Milwaukee and the other is on her way.... Hooray.

9/14 Another day, another day

Finished most of a newsletter I'm writing at work, so that's definitely a good thing. Tomorrow I begin on re-writing one website, with another website due to be completely revamped later in the week. Luckily, staying busy is a good thing in my book.

Wish I had more interesting topics to blog about, but alas...the title of my blog holds true.

9/13 Computers--love 'em/hate 'em

First thing this morning at work my computer kept shutting off, then re-booting. An endless loop. So the IT guy has had it all day. Something about Service Pack 2. I got a loaner but it's not the same--slow and doesn't have my bells and whistles. I'm looking forward to tomorrow when I'll have old faithful back on my desk. I've not been too productive because of the switch, but will definitely be going gangbusters tomorrow.

I'm wearing shoes today and am thrilled. Foot hurts but not bad at all. Day by day it's getting better. The nurse called me today and told me not to get too excited, that I still needed to be taking it easy. So now, not only is my kickboxing careeer over, my triathlon career is stalled. Drat the luck.

Saturday at CSz was not as easy as Friday. We had a lot of problems with some new procedures and we couldn't get the box office tally sheet to balance. But I communicated with management about it and we'll see if things improve. I love working there, and want to make the job easier for myself and the others who do the same work.

After I got off duty at 10:45 PM, I enjoyed the rest of the late show. Both shows were nearly sold out so that was awesome. It's so much fun greeting people, taking their money and making wisecracks. Hey, I think I could be a comedic mugger!

9/11 Saturday again

Want another post about my foot? Me either.

After my long day at CPI, I worked at CSz. If you don't think it's hard answering the phone...well, it is. I get confused and have to stop and think before I say the name of the company when I answer. At my regular job, I don't get many direct calls. Usually an inbound caller would be transferred to my by the people who answer the phone. But some people do have my direct number, so I answer with the company name when that happend. I wish the places had totally different names. It would help this tired old brain.

Last night I trained another new person. Surprise! :)

Eva picked up things really quickly and we got very busy so it was super to have someone with me. Because so many patrons came late to the 10 o'clock show we didn't finish work until 11. Since it was so late I decided to stay and watch the rest of the show. The players were great but the audience wasn't. There were lots of people who were drunk when they arrived, so they were coming down from their high during the show, and that really was evident. But I found it hilarious, and I know the players heard my laughter, because there wasn't a lot of it going on.

We had a guest player, Mark, from LA. I'd met him during the World Championship. Nice to see him.

I work with Eva again tonight, so it should be another good night. It's hard to do the job by yourself. You have to do a lot of prep work. Then the customers start arriving up to an hour before showtime, if they're going to eat dinner first. At the same time you are taking money, giving out wristbands (on which you've written their seat or table number). Also you are answering the phone and taking reservations on the computer. So it's evident why I'm happy to be training someone.

Just talked to Jill online. I'm so blessed to have her as a daughter. Again, let's return to a phrase from an earlier entry. Life is good.

9/9 Life is really good

I don't know where that title came from, but I realize with great clarity that my life is good. I have a job I love, a second job I like, a hobby (comedy) that I adore, and a condo that's small enough it doesn't need much cleaning. Doesn't get any better than that.

Jill, Todd and my gorgeous grandkids arrive toward the end of the month. I'm having someone clean my place a few days beforehand (see the previous paragraph--it won't cost me much because the place is small). Todd is a neat-freak and I want to have the place clean. My daughter Jill wouldn't care...she grew up with my non-existent housecleaning. But I'll actually have Kayla and Hunter in my very own home. They've never been here. Either I go to LA (frequently) or they meet me in Quincy. This is a big deal. I'll only have them here for a short time, since they're going up north for Todd's brother's wedding. But no complaints. I'm grateful for what I'll get.

Then my friend Bruce from Santa Barbara arrives right after they leave. He's doing a cross country tour to promote his new CD. So he'll stay one night after a concert in another friend's coffee house. September is full of fun for me. Oh, and my next class (104) begins at CSz on September 21.

I'm so impatient for my foot to get back to normal. I'm still happy that surgery isn't needed, but want this to be OVER! Yeah, I'm sure my little temper there will really make the tendons heal more quickly. Yeah.

9/8/04 OW!

After a few days of my foot getting progressively better, I'm caught in a tailspin of pain today. Unless I hold my foot perfectly straight, I can barely walk. If I don't bend my foot at all, it's fine. Don't know what happened. Could it be the dancing I did last night?

Damn, as usual I'm my own worst enemy. Probably my only enemy. I don't need more.

9/7 The truth about me

My writer friend died over the weekend. As I said, I wasn't that close to her for various reasons, but I feel a real loss. Turns out her devestating illness affected her brain too. So some of her nasty comments and sad behavior were caused by that. The stuff from years ago, of course, wasn't from the illness, yet I'm so sad that she didn't share any of her recent journey with us. She kept her pain private. Many of us became judgmental about her attitude and behavior, attributing some of it to drink, and some of it to just ill-temper. I feel crappy about that. If I'd known even a smidgeon of the truth, I would have withheld judgment--I know me. But in death, Pam taught me a valuable lesson. We don't know anyone's journey, unless they share it with us. My judgment of her was wrong. I was wrong.

But I know that if such a thing were to happen to me, not only would my friends know about it, so would complete strangers. I'd make a habit of posting as long as I could in my blog. I would want to make sure I said what I needed to people, and give them a chance to say their truths to me. No secrets. Is that any better than the way Pam chose to handle her illness? Of course it isn't. It's just different.

Guess I'm blaming Pam for not telling me and saving me from feeling so guilty. What a selfish, selfish woman I can be.

9/6 Labor Day

A lazy Monday, babying my foot. I worked at CSz for 11 hours on Saturday and the stupid foot still hurts. Despite that, I had a great time, and trained new gal Marcy for the job. She's only 16 and I had to focus her on the job every now and then, but she picked up quickly. The neatest thing was that she told me what a good teacher I was, more than once. That felt great. Hope we work together again.

Other than going grocery shopping on Sunday, I stayed off my foot all day. So it should be getting better--it should it should it should it should.

Football season is about to start and I'm thrilled. Not only do I love watching it, but I'm in two football pools. One, at work, is for money, but the other, with CSz friends, is just going to be plain fun.

Rob and Beata called from Okinawa yesterday with news that they were in the middle of a Category 5 typhoon, and of course they loved it. Rob and I share that weirdness, Jill too. My mom would sit out on the porch with me during big storms and we'd just marvel at the power of it, and how cool it was. R and B still don't know when they're getting back to the states but we're all hoping it's before Christmas.

Jill just emailed to say they got a new computer and she'd be offline for a while since she was transferring all the data. I love that my daughter is a wonk.

9/4 Ah, the long weekend!

Last night, I sat like a good girl, with my foot up. I watched some TV and played internet Scrabble. Met a new friend--someone to have good matches with.

Today though I'm going to work from Noon until around 10:30 PM at CSz. The work isn't hard. I'll be able to sit most of the time and keep my foot up, so it should be fine. Then I'm meeting friends for the last show. It starts at 10, but I'll be able to slip in around 10:30 when I'm done working.

Last week I joined WW online and when I weighed in yesterday I'd lost 4 pounds the first week. Couldn't believe it. I know that's just the first week and it'll slow down to a pound or two a week, but that's okay. It'll be in the right direction, which is what I need/want.

I've also decided I need to get busy on my writing. I have three novels that need finishing, and I haven't spent time writing for fun lately. Guess writing at work has used up my creativity. :)

9/3 Limping around

I got the surgical boot/shoe, although I don't understand its purpose. If it's for comfort, then okay... or if it's to keep my foot from bending so the tendons heal, well that makes more sense. It just makes me walk funny after I'd spent over a week learning how not to limp. Ah well, I'm a lucky bug anyway.

Work is getting more and more fun. I have new things to do, in addition to the writing and editing of our publications. I like being busy.

My family is all getting together at my sister Jan's this weekend for a barbecue. It makes me homesick knowing I'm a six hour drive away. I'll be thinking of them as they drink beer, play games, and laugh. Hey--I'll be doing that myself at CSz... and several of the comedians are as silly/dumb as my brothers, so it'll be okay.

9/2 Good news/bad news/good news/bad news

The good news is that I don't have to have surgery. The bad news is that I ruptured tendons in my foot and have to wear the ace wrap and a surgical boot for several weeks. The good news is that I'm working at ComedySportz this weekend and can sit while I work.

Some absolutely devastating news is that I found out that a writer friend is dying. It's such a shock. She and I were never close. She always rubbed me the wrong way and I didn't like the way she treated people. On the surface she is sweet, then mean, then sweet again, and the nice people we hang out with remember the good stuff, and this lady has done some fantastically unselfish and giving things for some individuals. But she backstabs like crazy and has defamed me and others to anyone who will listen. It took a long time but I finally found out what she was saying about me, and it was really hurtful. I wonder what kind of gain people get from behaving that way. I feel so guilty at the moment for not having liked her, and I won't say phony things. But I did offer good wishes and many prayers, and those are sincere. I don't want to see anyone suffer, and this person is indeed suffering. This is hard.

I wish I were a better person.

9/1 Good news

Well, I got approved by Google's AdSense program. So that's cool. When I get home tonight I'll add the info to my website. (MS Frontpage is on my home computer.) I think that will be kind of fun, and maybe I'll make a few bucks.

Practice at Jeff's was canceled last night. Many folks were unavailable--it's the end of summer after all--even though we haven't had summer yet in WI. (I'm going to keep repeating that until it gets warm.) Real workshop classes start on September 1, and I'm really looking forward to that.

So I went to my hair appointment at 5 (got it all chopped off again) and instead of going to practice I went home. Lost two games of online Scrabble, watched TV until 11 and went to bed. Can ya stand the excitement?

8/31 Time flies

I can't believe August is over and we haven't really even had a summer yet in Wisconsin. I only swam once this year and that reeks.

My friend Bruce is on a concert tour throughout the US. We're trying to organize a small venue for Milwaukee in late September, but I don't know if it'll fly. I think he'll even do a bookstore or a coffee house... omigod, I just got a brainstorm...

Later: Okay, I checked it out and it's a real possibility. My friend at work--Nichole--her husband owns a coffee house on the East Side, trendy and cool. A perfect spot for Bruce to play. I called Bruce as he's driving from Santa Barbara CA to Flagstaff AZ, the start of his tour. He gave me a date, I gave it to Nichole, and she's going to talk to her husband. I hope this works. It's been two years since I've seen Bruce, so it'll will be awesome to have him here in WI. Go to his website and check out his music. He's a talented guy. I became friends with him nearly ten years ago through our writers' club.

Did I ever tell you about Housewife Writers? Bruce even has a cut named that on his first CD. It's a group of men and women (most of them well-published). We meet online and I've been involved since early 1995. It's called Housewife Writers (so I'm told) because the writers thought that the title would keep hordes of people away and keep the group small and intimate. I heard about it from another writer friend. The group was right. The title wasn't one I found attractive. But I LOVE this group. I've learned so much, but mostly I've made good friends. I've had the good fortune to meet the majority of them in person, and that makes it even better.

The first time I met Bruce he was working in Miami and he took me to South Beach for the first time. This handsome young man held my hand and called me Babe. We danced, ate, and drank beer. Such fun and this brings back good memories. I felt like a "Sugar Mama" with such a youngster. Heh-heh-heh and I liked it.

8/28 Calls from Japan and Los Angeles

Rob and Beata called me last night. That was the best thing that happened all day. Rob said he's trying to schedule the Board for next week, and the Board will determine when they get to move back to the States. I've got my fingers crossed.

Jill, Kayla and Hunter called today. Todd was riding motorcross and they were at the track watching. They got in the truck to escape the noise and called. It was a nice surprise, especially coming so close to Rob and Beata's call. In Kayla's words, "You're a lucky bug, Grandma."

8/27 MRI r Us

The MRI wasn't bad this morning. I didn't have to totally get inside the tube, just my lower body, so it wasn't confining at all. They put headphones on me and I got to choose my radio station. So I had KLH in my ears for the hour that I was stuck there. Will find out Tuesday. 'Nuff about that.

Had meeting after meeting today at work, and not much time to actually get things done. But most of it can wait until Monday anyway. I was looking forward to a relaxing weekend of swimming and watching Olympics, but we're supposed to have thunderstorms today, Saturday, and Sunday. Aarrrggghhhh. Guess that means I'll have to work on my Scrabble game instead. I finally have my points over 700, so am feeling good about that.

Haven't spoken to my grandkids yet this week and that is rotten. They've been out and about all the time. Of course, if I lived in LA where it's sunny, I'd be out and about all the time too.

8/26 Paying off

All ths lazing about is paying off. The foot pain has lessened considerably, and my Scrabble game has improved. There's usually a bright side to everything.

Go to 3M and click so they donate more money for Breast Cancer research. This is one of the legitimate enterprises. Please help. (You know me, I'm always checking for urban legends, scams and rip-offs, so you can trust me on this.)

Will the Olympics ever end? Doesn't seem like it, and I'm ready for some regular NBC shows. Yet, I'm ambivalent...I dearly love watching the O, and NBC has done a super job this year. I love the little box in the corner that says things like "Marion Jones in the long jump in 16 minutes." It's great...I can do a load of laundry, empty my dishwasher and be back in time to watch something I want. Or more likely, I can play a quick game of online Scrabble. (Who am I kidding? I only empty the dishwasher as needed....)

Finally got my counter fixed on my website. When I first installed it, I inadvertently connected it to the one on the host site, so it was in the millions. Yeah, right. Then I asked that it get changed so the one million was off, but realized that even 150,000 was way too much. Must have had delusions of grandeur. But I checked my statistics at the hosting site and found out that I had over 54, 500 hits. That's awesome for just being online since mid-January. It helps to have lots of relatives. I'm sure the numbers will slow down now that I'm no longer in the UK. My blog entries are mundane rather than exciting. Hence, the title.

8/25 The travel bug is calling

Wish I knew how to make a link here... okay, I think I figured it out. I've just been back in the states a little less than three months and I'm ready to go again. Have you read about my UK and European Adventures? I'm going to try to post the journals from my trips to Japan, Australia, and New Zealand as well, but I don't have the hang of developing my website to its full potential. But it will happen.

My friends in Ireland and the UK keep saying to come visit. Oh my--where will the money come from? I know I can swing it, but I have to come up with a PLAN (yes, it must be in capital letters).

Oh, and there's the pesky notion of not having enough vacation time. Hmmm!

Hey, the good news is that my foot is feeling a lot better today and I'm hardly limping. Hooray!

I need to change my avatar at the ComedySportz site. A friend said it scared her because I look like her mother-in-law. Made me laugh. And I've come up with a nom de plume when I write outside of the mystery field--Lanny Jude Ferris. A friend came up with it. It's an anagram of Jerilyn Dufresne. I'm thinkin' that it's very cool.

And here's the thing you guys--I know lots of you are reading this, because you tell me, in person, via phone or by email. But the only one who comments is good ole Bron from the UK. Could it be because I comment on her blog as well? Dunno. But anyway, I just applied to Google to be allowed to have ads on my website and I can make a little money that way. But if they see no comments, then I doubt if I'll be approved. Anybody want to help me out? Thanks. Jer

8/24 Sitting on my big butt

Didn't realize how much I walk around everyday until I can't do it. I'm bored with sitting. But I'm lucky...

And the pain is a little less today than yesterday. So that makes me REALLY lucky. Perhaps it'll be totally gone by Friday and I won't have to have the MRI. Yeah, that'll work.

CSz workshops start again September 21. They've combined 103/104 into one class, but that'll be fine. I don't mind re-learning some stuff. Plus it's a different instructor than I had last time. Should be fun.

I'm not going to our summer practice tonight. Was supposed to teach a class on music and singing in improv, but since I can't get up and dance around I'm going home to the aforementioned recliner.

8/23 Damn damn damn

I thought my foot hurt badly before. Just goes to show how wrong I can be.

The picnic yesterday really was fun. Tom did a super job of feeding us. I played volleyball in a sand pit with no ill effects. I fielded in kickball with no ill effects. The when I got up to "bat" I kicked the ball and heard/felt something in my foot pop. I limped the quarter mile back to the picnic site without telling anyone about it. Iced it, ate a quick meal and went home. Was up most of the night because of the pain, and saw a doctor today. The good news is that the xrays were negative. That's also the bad news. He suspects torn tendons. I'm telling God and the universe that the tendons are just pulled, not torn. There's an MRI scheduled for Friday. In the meantime I have to stay off of it as much as possible and keep my foot elevated. At work, I'll do the best I can. I told the doc that at home I'll sit in my recliner and watch the Olympics. If he'd just prescribe that I should have a beer in my hand then I'd be a happy woman.

8/22 I hate my foot.

Worked in the box office yesterday afternoon. It was fun, but afterward my foot hurt so much. I ended up having to just sit at home all night. Can't wait to see the orthopedist and get something done about this. Yuck.

Today is the CSz picnic...and I WILL play volleyball. No way is this stupid foot going to stop me from having a good time. Okay, it already has stopped me many times. But not today.

8/20 Don't read this, it's boring.

Went to the doc for my foot and she referred me to an orthopedist. That reeks. I wanted an instant cure. Instant, immediate, right now, forthwith, pronto. Delayed gratification has never been my thing. Now I have to wait until the end of September for relief. I think not! I'm going to stay drunk. That will relieve the pain. Self-medication is the wave of the future.

Worked at CSz last night in the box office. (Okay, that made my foot even worse. I should have worked sitting, but didn't.) It was fun working, but we had database problems so that wasn't cool. I feel sorry for the folks that have to work on that problem.

I don't work tonight and I have no plans, so I'll be home sitting with my foot up, watching/listening to the Olympics and playing online Scrabble. I'm ashamed to say that's my idea of a good time.

8/19 Holy shit--what a ride!

A friend wrote in her blog that she doesn't have any real friends where she lives and it almost made me cry. I don't ever write anything serious in here, mainly because this isn't a journal, and it's not for my innermost thoughts. But her blog really made me think, and I don't like that.

I wrote: "Sure there are people that like me, but no one that will call me and ask me to do something. I realized that I always initiate those things. Perhaps it's because everyone I know is 80 years younger than I am (I love hyperbole). Perhaps I'm shallow. Perhaps I'm an asshole in disguise. I hate introspection."

I consider myself a nice person. However, I know I possess character traits that can drive people batty. That's why I love my family. They can tell me off and still love me. And still call me and ask me to do stuff. My 13 year-old niece, Sarah, called me last night just to tell me she missed me and loved me, and wondered when I would visit. My sister, Jane, IMd me this morning to talk about my daughter's visit to Wisconsin and hoping she and her family could visit at the same time. My daughter Jill, and grandkids, IM me every day and we speak via webcam and mic at least once a week. That rocks. A friend from out of town called last night just to chat.

Several years ago I met someone I really clicked with. She and her husband were a few years younger than I, but not too much. Later, when I saw her again after a long time, I said something like, "I had really hoped we could be friends." She answered that I project an image of being so self-sufficient and "non-needy" that it appears I don't need friends, or that I have all the friends I need.

I'm an actor.
________________________

Just got one of "those forwards" from my sister-in-law. Normally, I read and delete, but this one I plan to take on as my personal mantra. It reads:

The goal isn't to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "HOLY SHIT...what a ride!"

8/18 Trip to Charlotte

Just made my airline reservation to go to Charlotte NC in October. A bunch of high school chums from QND are meeting at a friend's house. Most people are going Thursday through Tuesday, but I'm only able to go Saturday through Tuesday since I need to save some vacation time for when Rob and Beata return from Japan. That is IF they return from Japan.

Both Rob and Beatka say they are down about the situation. They were first told they'd be returning last November, but because of the war in Iraq and other things they are still there. We've all got our fingers crossed that they'll be home in September or October as planned, but who knows. My major wish is that they'll be home for Christmas. Stay tuned.

8/16 Back to reality

Sunday I took the day off--from everything. Played online Scrabble, watched the Olympics, and prepared for a class I'll teach Tuesday to my practice group. Today it was business as usual. The day flew by at work, so much to do. Watched the Olympics tonight and of course played a few games of online Scrabble. A nice relaxing night...boring to read about, but great to experience.

8/14 Saturday--a day of leisure

Didn't do much today, except worked on my website, posting tons of pictures from the World Championship. I did talk to Jill and the kids via Yahoo and webcam. It's so cool seeing the kids wave and yell that they love their Grandma. Yesterday I got birthday cards from them; Jill made them on the computer and Kayla and Hunter fingerpainted. Jill also sent fingerpainted handprints of each of them. I'll put those in my office.

Tonight I went to the 7:30 show at CSz. The teams were hilarious but the crowd was rather small--in stark contrast to the SRO crowd from the tourney last week. I miss that excitement. I miss it so much that I'm going to sleep in tomorrow in memorium.

8/12 Back to day-to-day stuff

After such a fun-filled raucus experience, it's hard to settle back into my regular routine. I've been working during the day and the last night and tonight just came home and crashed. Watched TV, read, and played online Scrabble.

This weekend, since I've not been scheduled at CSz, I'll get some stuff done around the house, including my website and working on the novel(s). It's been in the 60s the last several days but should warm up over the weekend. If so, I'll swim--I love to swim and find it very relaxing.

The LA CSz team is planning their WC for next summer and I'm already jazzed. Hope I can arrange to go. I'm addicted to the CSz online forum...it's an easy way to stay connected to the folks, plus they make me laugh.

Am looking forward to Fantasy Football which begins shortly. That's always fun.

My sibs are all getting together in Quincy this weekend, and I can't attend. Have spent all my money, as usual. If gas prices go down it will be easier for me to do the 12-hour round trip. I've cut up all my credit cards, otherwise I'd go anyway. But now I'm only relying on my debit card, and that's a fascinating experience. Living within my means is a situation I'm not used to. I've always spent much more than I make, even though I make a good salary. Now it's caught up to me. So rather than lying awake worrying about money, I've cut up the cards. Don't get to have as much fun as I used to...but I'm sleeping better.

Okay, I'm lying. I am having as much fun as I used to. Just am not spending money.

8/10 New comedy nickname

I found it hard to keep my eyes open at work. Luckily I'm very busy, so that helps. But I'm so tired and am having trouble falling to sleep the last few nights. Must be because I became a night owl during the tournament.

Some CSz friends gave me a list of suggestions for my comedy nickname. Every player has one, even us workshoppers and wannabes. I've never had a GOOD one. So I got tons of great suggestions. Kudos to Bill from Portland who had a list a page long. Very impressive. But the winner was Andrew (also from Portland) who came up with the name that my practice group voted for unanimously. One of the things about a CSz nickname is that is needs to be punny if at all possible. So mine is--Jer "Singin' in" Dufresne. I love it. Of course, it only works if you pronounce my name correctly, to rhyme with rain.

Had rehearsal tonight. It was fun, but I was kind of low energy. Am still tired. I feel like I could fall asleep at my zzzzz-zzz.

8/8 Recuperating, or trying to

I spent most of the day either lying in bed watching TV, or in my recliner watching TV. It felt so good to do absolutely nothing. Maybe I played a few games of online Scrabble, I can't remember.

By the way, online Scrabble is free and AWESOME. It can be found at www.isc.ro (ISC stands for International Scrabble Club. You choose the language you want to play in, register and off you go.) You can choose to play short games or long games, doesn't matter. When I'm in a hurry I play 5 minute games with people. Stressful, yes, but fun. I'm hoping Rob and Beata sign on from Japan. My son and d-i-l both love playing Scrabble and when I visited them, we played a lot and all three of us are comparable players.

I signed on to the CSz website (for players and managers) and the place is buzzing with talk of the WC (world championship). What a memorable week. Putting faces to the names was fun, and getting to know people better was aces. I especially enjoyed the many hugs I received (and gave). Oh, and at the awards ceremony I won Miss Congeniality. How cool is that!

Plus the workshops were so enlightening. I attended a three-part music workshop with James Bailey of LA. He doesn't allow auditors... everyone needs to participate, so that was an added bonus. I LOVED IT! He's so affirming and positive, but does give excellent feedback on things you need to work on.

Attended a workshop by Milwaukee's Eric Price. As a performer he's one of my comedy gods, so I learned a lot, but most of the time I felt like I was in over my head and shouldn't have been in there. Well, them's the breaks I guess.

I cherished the past week...

8/5 Tired from laughing so much

(I just copied and pasted what I posted on the CSz forum, am too tired to write any original stuff. Hope to get back to my regular blogging after tournament. Got home at 2:15 AM.)

Spokane is another great team. I met Will, Caleb and Gabe when they registered on the first day and I personalized their water bottles. (Nope, it's not a euphenism for anything else. I really personalized their water bottles.) It was so fun to meet the guys behind the avatars. At scrimmage and in workshops all three of them make me laugh. (Congrats on the poker win.) And "That Tod" is such a stitch. In two different games, he hardly said a word but both times had me guffawing. Speaking of guffawing--okay twittering--Andrea from Indy takes the cake. She has the most unusual laugh and is a great one to have in any audience. Met Todd and Jack from DC--nice guys with loads of experience. Bought their CD--Yes And--but won't be able to watch it until after the tournament. Looking forward to it. Had lunch with Matthew Wheeler from Richmond. What a great guy, and such a physical player. Whenever I saw a body flying across the stage it was usually his. Love to watch him play. I want to make sure I mention all the folks who post in the forum. (No way can I mention all 100 participants.) Stephen Bennet from Texas is a great guy and cracked me up when I looked through the door to the arena and saw him festooned in boa and wig. Wish I could have seen their match. Unfortunately during the shows I'm working some of the time, so I can't even say if they've performed yet. Thursday night during the Euro vs the US show, I did get to sit and watch with Bron's mum. There was some serious crossing of the legs on my part as I laughed so hard I was losing control....but didn't dare leave for fear of missing something. One of my favorite parts was when the Milwaukee team had to use specific British accents and the UK team members each had to use an accent from a different state. The matches started late because of an unfortunate reservations snafu. So when the last match was over it was about 12:30 or so--I'm not 100% sure of the time because I forgot to look. But then Portland's Screaming Meemies put on a superb rock opera. They had three special guests from LA (James, Mark, and Lauren). Called Happily Ever After (I think), Betse and Nate were betrothed rugby players. Really funny stuff. I didn't get to stay afterwards to congratulate everyone, but I did talk to a few of the players on my way out... It's amazing that the roof doesn't explode off the top of CSz...there's so much talent in that building. I attended Parts 1 and 2 of James Bailey's music workshops and he rocks! I've loved singing all my life and it's such a riot to learn more and to play with others in developing my improv skills in that area. He's very affirming of everyone in the class, and is such a talented teacher. We were all begging for more, so he's going to teach us Part 3 Saturday. Can't wait. Guess that's it for now. PowWow is late today, which is very cool by me. I look at all the young players and remember when my body could survive on no sleep, alcohol, nicotine, and flirtation. Alas, no more. More later on other players... Your roving and tired reporter, Jer

8/4 More fun

Bill promised to blog about the WC, but he lied. When I left he and Betse were still partying. Last night I got home at 11:30, tonight 1. (I'm writing that this is 11:59 just so it posts for Wednesday.) Tomorrow scares me.... maybe I'll bring a pillow and just crash there. Wow, what fun. I hate to talk about it too much because I don't want you to feel bad, but what the hell--it's been awesome so far. All the actletes are talented and fun. The liquor and food are good. The workshops rock. And I love flirting with the young guys...omigod I love Nate (and others). Betse and Jenny make me want to re-think my sexual orientation--they are so gorgeous. Portland people indeed rock! But everyone's cool. I'll just mention some of the forum folks.... David (from Indy) and I did talk about writing as we promised, but things are moving so quickly that we haven't had much time. I did notice that he's not lacking for company though, so that's cool. He'll get the first bound galleys of his book soon, so that's big news. Jill Bernard performed her drum machine last night and it was awesome. She's amazing. I had lunch with the LA team yesterday. They are so neat too. My daughter lives out there, so I'm sure I'll visit their arena soon. The UK and Dublin teams are awesome. Their accents lend a cosmopolitan air to the WC (hee hee). Everyone knows I already love the UK team. Last night at the scrimmage Pij did a super American accent. Enough. I need to get ready and get back down there. My fee ACHE! But luckily my head doesn't. I know lots of people won't be able to say the same. I shouldn't mention names because I'm leaving tons of cool people out, but damn I'm tired. I didn't drink tonight until right before I left when a bartender said, "Jer, I'd love to make you a killer Russian." I told him I was out of money (having bought way too many shirts), and so he bought it for me. Wow, was that puppy good! And I am blogging, but because I'm so tired, I'm copying and pasting this note from the CSz forum to my blog. Cheating, but tough! Nighty-night, Jer

8/3 Wow, what fun!

Okay. It's 11:30 PM in Milwaukee and I'm home. Yes, I'm a loser. However, I had such a great time. Worked all day helping to register people and I LOVED meeting folks f2f after knowing them online. I'm so in love with several (you know who you are....).

Fun news for me--I had three beers and didn't buy any of them. How cool is that!

When I left the arena The Mighty Lumberhorns were still playing and the young'ns were still having fun. Me? I need my sleep so I can party all week. What a great bunch of people! I'm looking forward to learning a lot this week, and playing a lot too. Life is good.

8/2 Happy Birthday to Me!

I had such a wonderful day. This morning I arrived at work to find my office festooned with pink crepe paper streamers and the office full of balloons. What fun! My boss gave me a beautiful African violet plant, and colleagues brought all the ingredients for sundaes. We had brownies, vanilla ice cream, hot fudge, pecans, strawberries and whipped cream. Yum.

I left work at 4 to drive down to CSz to prepare for a 5:30 meeting with the volunteers. That was fun, especially showing off the new arena to Milwaukee folks. Afterwards we adjourned to Slim's where Jen paid for drinks and food. What a nice b'day gift. As well, she gave me a Parisian journal and some Parisian stickers that were made to go on steamer trunks. How cool! Bron, Pij, and Jools gave me some Cadbury chocolates. Cool again. Some folks from Milwaukee joined us. And two early arrivals from LA.

On the way home I spoke to Jill and the kids on the phone. I miss them so much.

But all in all it was a super birthday.

8/1 Goody Bags

Went to CSz today to stuff goody bags for the tournament participants. It was fun, but my feet still hurt from working on that darned cement floor.

Tomorrow's my birthday. Hooray! It's always nice to have lived another year. :)