2/14 Happy Valentine's Day

St. Valentine must turn over in his grave every 14th of February. That is, if he even existed.

No, I have nothing planned. And I won't make the same mistake I made in Toronto several years ago. I was there for a week, giving a workshop, and I ate out most every night (a few nights I ordered room service). I found an upscale Thai restaurant. My mouth waters just remembering the place. The food, service and ambience were impeccable. As I ate, I looked around and noticed that I was the only person dining alone. Then it hit me--Valentine's Day.

I learned a valuable lesson that day, boys and girls. Always check the calendar before going out to eat alone.

2/13 To and from St. Louis

Yesterday I flew to St. Louis and my friend Faye picked me up. We drove to Alton IL to St. Anthony's Hospital right away to visit another friend who is in ICU. Gerry is married to Sheila, another pal. Gerry's been in ICU for about two weeks, and they're going to take him off the vent and put in a tracheotomy. I didn't know that they only keep people on vents for two weeks or less--then they move to a trach.

Joe, Carol, Fred, Chris, Faye, Sheila and I all got to visit Gerald together and pray together. It was so beautiful. The ICU let us all in, even though it's against the rules, because we told the nurse that we were all Gerry's prayer group--and that's true--although I've been gone from St. Louis for 3 1/2 years. We also spent time talking to Debbi, Tim and Braxton (daughter, s-i-l, and grandson).

It was quite moving to spend time with Gerry, but also terribly depressing. He looks like a very old man. There are tons of tubes running in and out of him. My heart aches for Sheila...she's there most of the time. They've been married for 40 years, since they were youngsters, and this is so hard for her and the family.

After spending the afternoon at the hospital, we all wanted to go to dinner together and we wanted Sheila to have some fun with us too. So we went to a Mexican restaurant and six people drank three pitchers of margaritas. I was the seventh person, and couldn't drink because of my stomach....so voila', a designated driver.

I went back to Faye's place for the night and we chatted for a while, but were both tired.

Woke up early and did some editing on a Journal I'd brought with me. We went to mass at Joe's parish and then went for friend pickles for lunch. I swear--fried pickles are worth the price of the plane ticket. The three of us ordered two platters of them. I've never had them anywhere but Kenrod's in St. Louis. And they told us they were changing the menu--instead of a sports' bar/restaurant, they were turning into a Southwest Steakhouse. The server didn't know if they were keeping friend pickles on the menu or not. It would be a SHAME if they dropped them, because--well, just because... I. LOVE. FRIED. PICKLES.

Even though the reason I went to St. Louis was so sad, the visit itself was wonderful. And being with close friends is a treat I don't get to experience much in Milwaukee.

I flew back to Milwaukee shortly after lunch, and am now back home--getting ready for work tomorrow.

2/11 A weekend away

I'm flying to St. Louis tomorrow (Saturday) and flying back to Milwaukee on Sunday. It is definitely a quick turnaround. A friend is in ICU near St. Louis and I want to visit him. While there, I'll also re-connect with other friends for dinner Saturday night, and still others for lunch on Sunday. I lived there for 4 1/2 years, but most of these friends are of 15 years duration. When I lived and worked back home in Quincy, I was involved in prison ministry with these folks, and that continued when I moved to St. Louis.

The owner (and Chairman of the Board) bought pizza, salad and cookies for lunch today. He does this every so often, and it's a nice treat. Something curious happened this morning though. Dave said, "Congratulations, Jer." I asked him for what. He then said, "Oops. Never mind."

Gee, I wonder what neat thing is going to happen. Can't wait!

2/10 The good thing about being very busy

is that you don't even notice a stomach ache. The only time I've noticed one today was when I wasn't concentrating on work (walking to the restroom, eating my lunch, making copies, etc.). So I'm very pleased that I'm overloaded with work. Yay.

2/9 It just keeps getting better

Every time I complete a project, no matter how small, I sigh with relief. And also get a feeling of accomplishment. No, the piles on my desk aren't getting any smaller, but it still feels good. This morning I finished editing an article by a colleague that will be published in an outside, fairly prestigious magazine. And I also updated the legislative database. At our Sales Meeting this afternoon, I'll have 8 brand new pieces of legislation/regulation to present--that's beside the 30-odd ones we're already tracking.

And Nichole starts in four days, but it's only two working days. Hooray.

I went home around 5:30 last night and didn't go to workshop. Can't wait to start feeling GOOD!

2/8 Work is hard

I felt fine early this morning, but now am a bit lightheaded and ditzy. (Not so different from my regular state.)

When the nurse called to check up on me and ask if there were any lingering effects from the anesthetic, I told her that I didn' t have any of the symptoms she described. Now though, I have most of them.

Power of suggestion? Whatever it is, I feel yucky. I'll probably skip workshop tonight and go straight home. And if you know me, you know that for me to skip workshop is a huge deal.

Woe is me. (Insert pitiful sounds of a person in the total throes of woe. Oh, and lightheadedness.)

2/7 Slept all day

After returning from the hospital this morning, I slept the rest of the day--from 11 to 5. Hope I'm able to sleep tonight since I have to work tomorrow.

The good news is that they didn't have to take a biopsy, plus the doc stretched my esophagus so I should be able to swallow more easily. I need to take the medicine for another three months and then go back to see him (the GI doc). If things aren't better, he'll talk surgery. But for right now, I'll just concentrate on the good stuff.

Am still kind of "dopey" but I know that will wear off. That new stuff they give you to put you out is amazing. I had it two years ago for another test. Wow. One second I'm telling the nurse that I am still alert and the next minute I'm back in my room trying to make sense of what the nurse is telling me.

I'm grateful for the results.

2/6 Staff party

I should have known better.

I thought the CSz all staff meeting was going to be a meeting. Nope. It was a party, start to finish. So much fun. It's great to work for a guy who is a kid at heart. We played 4-Square, and people were a lot nicer than my brothers and nephews when I play with them. I have no scars.

Others played all kinds of other games from Uno to Chess to Pin the Clothespin on Your Opponent. I took some pictures and will post them in a few days.

Tomorrow morning I leave at 8 AM to go to the hospital for my tests. I'm a little anxious, but am really looking forward to feeling better. As I told a friend, I'm not scared of the test itself. I'll be asleep for that. But it's the diagnosis...I'm hoping it's just what the doctor thinks it is. It's curable within a few more months. I'm confident I can stay off liquor and coffee that long.

Now chocolate--that's another matter.

2/5 Lazy day

I wanted to do some work, but have been lethargic. So I went out for breakfast and that was the extent of my exertion today. Tomorrow is a meeting/party at CSz. Should be fun. Hope I have some energy. I slept most of the day today....

Both my kids have contacted me this weekend. Jill called a few times. And Rob and Bea called me last night. It's wonderful to hear from them. They all wish they could be here to take care of me while I don't feel well. That is sweet. But I'd rather have them here when I'm my usual self and have lots of energy to do things.

2/4 Don't want to talk about it

I have to go to the hospital on Monday for a test. It's the kind where they put you to sleep so I have to have someone take me and pick me up. And someone's supposed to stay with me at home afterward, but they let you compromise if you promise to have someone at least call you every few hours. I told them my daughter in LA would do that for me.

2/3 Working from home

Today and tomorrow I'm working from home. The legislative stuff at work has been keeping me so busy that I haven't been able to work on the editing, writing and website work that is my real job. So I escaped from the office in order to get more done and to ignore the legislative work.

It's vitally important stuff, but I just can't let it become my whole job.

So far today I've finished a lot of email reading, and edited an 18 page article. This afternoon I'll begin on some media/PR work, and plan to do that all day tomorrow too.

Later this afternoon I have an appointment with a GI specialist and then work at CSz. Funny enough I work at CSz tomorrow night too. That never happens--both Thursday and Friday, but another box office person had to go out of town because of an ill relative, so we all have to fill in. But that does mean I'm off Saturday.

So on Saturday and Sunday I plan to finish the Media Kit and also to begin my income tax preparation. This year, instead of doing it with TurboTax, I got an approval to do it online with the IRS. Since I don't cheat (at least on purpose), this will be a lot easier, plus it's free. I'll let you know how it goes.

Lunchtime... I do love working in my bathrobe. Decadent. Lazy. So me.

2/2 Too busy

Today went so quickly that I didn't even eat lunch. That's so unusual that I should note it on the calendar--not the busy part but the not eating part.

When I went to the doc later in the afternoon she said that I must eat. Oh, I love that woman!

2/1 Happy February!

It's 35 degrees and has been very pleasant. No sun, but warm. Unusual for Wisconsin in February. I think much colder things are in store.

My son Rob and d-i-l Beata are taking a trip to Thailand prior to returning to the states. They're going in March and Bea is absolutely thrilled. Since Rob speaks Thai and knows the country very well, they will have a wonderful time. I'm jealous. Can't wait to see the pictures though.

After that, they should be moving back to the US. It's been two years since the Army told Rob he would be leaving Okinawa. He's been there 8 years I think. I can't wait for them to be closer. I visited there twice, but can't afford to go again.

A year ago I was happily esconced in my little flat in Altrincham, Cheshire, England. I can't believe it's already been a year. As much as I miss the excitement of being in the UK and traveling in Europe, I love being home.

I'm taking a brief break from legislative/regulatory work. It will be such a relief when the new person starts work. Then I can get back to writing/editing and fun stuff like that.

Yeah.

1/31 Nuts Part II

Just finished with the legislative work for today. Well, not really finished...but did as much as I'm going to do today. My eyes are rolling back in my head--which is a good thing because they're very red. And my head hurts. And the new person isn't starting next Monday, it's the Monday after that. And I want my mommy.

1/31 Today is nuts

I'm editing two long articles for one of the Journals we publish, and dealing with a few websites, and absolutely TONS of new legislative alerts have come through. I always need to deal with those immediately because you never know ahead of time how urgent they are (or not).

So the day is overfull, but certainly not boring. I just stopped to eat my lunch.

I'm going to work from home one or two days this week. My Media Kit and PR database were both due in January and of course they aren't done. My boss said she wasn't going to hold me to the deadline because of all the legislative and regulatory items that have been popping.

But the GREAT news is: Monday the part-time legislative research analyst will begin. Much of my leg/reg work will pass to her. But not all--I'll keep anything Sales/PR related. But my workload will be much more manageable.

Hooray for being merely extremely busy instead of frantically so.

1/30 Good stuff

I'm feeling better since the doc doubled my meds. That's definitely a good thing!

Yesterday I was supposed to work from 12-5 at CSz. I ended up working 10-8. So I'll get a nicer paycheck next week. That's another good thing!

And to add to it--a customer came in and had made lots of cookies for me. She said I was kind to her and did her a favor. I can't remember what it was, but I'm glad I did it. The cookies are a good thing.

A friend who was very depressed has come back to the land of the living. A fourth good thing!

I'm still fat, and that sucks! But I'm losing--slowly--but losing. A good thing!

The printer my daughter and son-in-law gave me for Christmas prints beautiful pictures. Good thing!

Guess I'm grateful today. That's a decent mood to be in.

1/28 Staying busy

Yesterday I attended CPR training all afternoon. Will do the same today from 1-5. It's first aid class too. But the neatest thing is the AED...automatic external defibrillator. We get to learn to use that today. Of course we don't get to actually shock someone (drat), but I'm so excited to learn how to use it.

Last night I worked the Box Office at CSz and as usual had a good time. Tonight I'm off, but tomorrow matinee I'm the floor manager. Since D won't be there to do that, I asked him if he'd like me to come in early and answer phones to take reservations. He normally does that Saturday mornings. So I'll work about 7 hours tomorrow and that will be nice. Plus I'm off Saturday night and all day Sunday.

Played online Scrabble the other night with a guy from Seattle. Very flirtatious. That was great anonymous fun. When I found out he was 42 I stopped flirting. I told him I was 57, and he still continued with the banter. So I laughed and told him he was nuts. He liked my humor and chutzpah. I enjoyed the interaction.

My brother John made a beautiful poker table for another brother Joe. They're all getting together to play Texas Hold'em Saturday night. I get so jealous. Wish I lived closer. Guess I'll have to wait until retirement, which is only 10 years away.

By then of course Texas Hold'em will be out of fashion, and everyone will be playing Tiddly Winks or another game I don't like.

1/27 Lake effect snow

This morning we were to get 3-6" more of snow. But it was lake effect--it was so beautiful. The sun was shining and the snow was coming down steadily, not flurries. Everything sparkled. I loved it.

What I don't love is that I'm on double the meds and have to see the doc again next week. In the meantime, my office door is closed. Even so, I still say "excuse me" everytime I burp. Of course, I'm the type that says "excuse me" when I bump into a desk.

1/26 Coffee and funny business

Yesterday I bought a cup of decaf at Starbucks and it tasted rotten. Guess it was the bottom of the pot. Only took one sip. So I still haven't had coffee yet. I probably won't for a while.

Last night we had a great workshop. I really enjoy learning more about improv. And our teacher is really good. The group is fun too...there are 12 of us.

Found out yesterday that the stand-up group I performed with at Giggles is going to perform again--this time at a bar in South Milwaukee. Should be toward the end of February. I'm excited about that.

Am waiting for a call back from the doc. I can't stop burping. Feel like a dolt. Or a six-month old.

1/25 The day changes

I started out feeling so good today. No stomach pain. Hooray for lots of meds!

Then suddenly my stomach became demanding. It's like the plant in Little Shop of Horrors screaming, "FEED ME, SEYMOUR!"

It continues in that vein until I feed it. Then a little while later complains that it didn't like what I gave it. This just sucks. And the new meds the doctor ordered aren't on the approved list from my insurance company. So the pharmacy has to call for "prior authorization." They said it can take a few days sometimes. Aaarrrgggghh!

On another subject--I completed some tasks at work, and that feels good. Then a few "urgent" and "important" matters crossed my desk and email box. Now I have to put aside my Media Kit project and do more legislative stuff. It's all fun, but it's too much. It will be great when the part-time person starts in mid-February. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and pray it's not a train.

1/24 Mmm-mmm good

I'm eating a bowl of vegetarian chili for lunch. Delicious. Yesterday I made a big pot of it, and after I ate it for dinner, froze individual containers so I could bring them to work for lunches. Chili is one of those dishes that tastes better the second and third day. But since it's frozen I won't be forced to eat it on a daily basis.

Yesterday was one of those days I cherish. I could have stayed in my pajamas all day if I'd wanted. I did laundry, cooked, watched shows I'd recorded and started sorting receipts for my taxes. No pressure at all. And--no surprise--my stomach didn't bother me much at all. I love stress-free days.

Okay, not entirely stress free. I was sitting in my chair watching TV and I heard a car alarm go off. I'm on the second floor and the cars are parked in the basement, but it was loud and clear. Of course it sounded exactly like mine. So, thankful that I hadn't stayed in pajamas, I went downstairs and fortunately it wasn't my car. In fact, the alarm had stopped. That was the extent of my exercise yesterday.

Tomorrow I will be able to have coffee again. I'm in anticipatory hell! I want it now. The doc said two weeks without caffeine, and not even decaf coffee. I did "cheat" twice. I had a cup of decaf at the annual Staff Meeting the Saturday before last. And this Saturday I had a decaf skinny latte at Starbucks. I figure the latter has more milk in it than coffee, so that wasn't a big deal. Other than that, I've behaved, and I've had no alcohol or chocolate either.

Tomorrow I'll have a Starbucks coffee with chocolate syrup and vodka in it. Yeah!

1/23 Sad News

My sister-in-law Karen's mother is in ICU on a ventilator. Her name is Katie, and she's one of the kindest human beings I've met. I'm so sad. I called Karen (married to my youngest brother Jim) and talked to her. Karen's an only child which makes this harder. She is her parents' pride and joy, and she worships them.

Life is hard sometimes.

1/22 I LOVE SNOW!

It's such a gorgeous day. We have about 8 inches of snow so far and expect up to a foot by this evening. It's blowing so much that I had to go outside and take down the planter you see in this picture. This is from my living room looking toward the deck.

1/21 Friday--I love Friday

Had a good meeting with my boss. Another person is being brought in to take some of the work I've been doing, so I'm hopeful that I'll finally accomplish more. Yesterday afternoon and today I've been cleaning my office. The stacks were so high on my desk that I hit one with my elbow and everything went flying to the floor. That was the last straw! So I started cleaning and organizing.

Now I'm at the hard part though. The last bits--things I don't know what to do with. Do I throw away and pretend I've never seen them? Do I actually follow through with the ideas I had earlier? I'll decide this afternoon.

It's snowing and it's beautiful. We're in line for a winter storm and I love them. I love nesting in my little condo while it's snowing and blowing. Tonight I'm home, and tomorrow during the day. Then I work tomorrow night at CSz. I'm grateful for a 4-wheel drive, especially if we get the snow that's predicted. We'll see.

Tonight I'm going to relax, play online Scrabble, and watch some shows I'd taped. Tomorrow or Sunday I'm going to get my tax stuff together. A task indeed.

This all depends on how I feel. Right now I feel like going to bed. I'm still saying "hooray for hernias," but not as loudly as before. BELCH Omigod that's the biggest problem today. Can't stop belching and I've been on meds for two weeks. If I'm not better by Tuesday I have to go back in to the doc.

BELCH

Excuse me.

1/20 A Fun Quiz

This was certainly true of me. The link is at the bottom of this entry. If you take the test, post your results in a comment. I'd be interested.... You scored as Verbal/Linguistic. You have highly developed auditory skills, enjoy reading and writing and telling stories, and are good at getting your point across. You learn best by saying and hearing words. People like you include poets, authors, speakers, attorneys, politicians, lecturers and teachers. Verbal/Linguistic 89% Musical/Rhythmic 82% Bodily/Kinesthetic 79% Interpersonal 75% Intrapersonal 71% Visual/Spatial 68% Logical/Mathematical 39% The Rogers Indicator of Multiple Intelligences created with QuizFarm.com

1/19 Hernia, Part Deux

I've been pleased to get notes from friends and family about how happy they are I have a hernia. Isn't that wonderfully weird? Everything is relative...and a hernia is grand compared with my fears. My only surprise is that neither of my sisters wrote--and they're both nurses. I thought for sure I'd hear from them (I sent an email).

So they either haven't read the email (improbable); don't love their sister anymore (impossible); or are too busy to write (quite plausible).

Last night we started a new 104 workshop. It was so much fun. I haven't laughed like that since I was with my extended family in Quincy. It felt so good to just let go. And the pain only came back when I wasn't on stage. Now that's a ham for you!

I work Saturday night at CSz, so that's sure to be fun and BUSY!

1/18 Hernia

Hooray! I have a hernia. Compared to what I was scared of--hell, this is an absolute joy!

Right below my breast bone is a big lump, and it hurts. Today I found out it's a hernia and that it will stop hurting as soon as we take care of my stomach acid. So no coffee, alcohol, chocolate, or anything caffeinated. (NO CHOCOLATE???? My heart yearns for it suddenly.)

But I'm definitely celebrating. Yes, it still hurts, but it's going to get better and I'll be back to my old self.

I can't even give words to my happiness. Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm not a worrier. Never have been. The past few weeks--I've worried. It started out as concern, but blossomed into full-blown neurosis. A veritable cornucopia of worry. And now it's gone. And I'm smiling.

And I'm going to class tonight. And I'm going to eat ice cream.

Vanilla.

1/17 Blah!

Blah blah blah blah blah blah and etc.

Blah describes my mood. Not usual, but that's the way it is. Something's going on with me physically that is weird. Have been on tons of over the counter meds (per doctor on phone), but have to go in and see her tomorrow because there's no improvement. It's weird. And I'm tired. And I'm tired of people telling me I look tired.

1/16 Yesterday was Staff Day

It was enjoyable as usual. Way too much food, and I did a poor job of controlling my eating. Hate that.

But it was nice to celebrate all the accomplishments of the last year and watch some deserving people receive awards.

Afterward most people went to the Ale House to have a beer. I was going to go but ended up driving right by it and going home. That's not like me. But I was feeling a little down and decided to skip the merriment.

Arriving home was nice because Peggy had been in to clean the place. Coming home to a clean house is a wonderful treat. That's one of the reasons I have the second job--in order to afford a house cleaner.

Today I'm going to hook up my new printer and watch football. I'll print some pictures once I get the thing hooked up. Had to buy a usb hub yesterday, and also bought some blank DVDs. My computer doesn't copy movies, but other people's do, and I needed some blank DVDs. Additionally I got a nice extension cord, so I can hook everything up. I have it all jury-rigged right now, and it's probably not safe. It'll be better by tonight.

But to do all this, I have to completely take apart my computer set up. Thought that while I'm at it, I might as well clean out my desk and make it more user-friendly.

Got a call this morning from an ex-offender I used to work with when I volunteered at the men's maximum security prisons in MO. Did Prison Arts Project (Hamlet), mentored the Writers' Club, and was involved with REC (Residents Encounter Christ). That volunteer work was a huge part of my life. Anyway, he called and needs help. This is a guy I've known since 1990. He got out 18 months ago, his girlfriend is pregnant, and he doesn't have a job. I made some suggestions, sent some emails, offered encouragement, but that's about all I could do. Except keep him in my prayers. But prayers don't help much when you can't pay your rent and a baby is on the way.

Okay--I'm going to begin the huge project of the day--my computer and desk. I may not surface for days.

1/14 Couple of good things

First of all it's payday. That's always a good thing.

Secondly, I got a letter from my doc and it was all good. My cholesterol is down, but good cholesterol is up. And the fun news is that they did a bone density scan. She gave me figures, but I forgot them. But she said they measure bone density against a 25 year old. And mine is BETTER than a 25 year old. Hooray! No osteoporosis for me.

I remember as a kid seeing old ladies in church with what they called a widow's hump. All hunched over with a big hump on their back. This isn't common anymore because people drink milk, food is fortified with calcium and we take calcium tablets. But it was very common when I was in grade school.

So that's what I was thinking about when they took the scan. And that's why I'm so happy about the results.

1/13 Thursday and not much else

The good news is that my brother Jeff is home from the hospital. So I'll be able to start teasing him soon.

Went to lunch with a friend today and it was enjoyable to eat in front of a person instead of a monitor.

Finished up a few jobs this morning, but others miraculously take their place.

Weather here is sucky, just like it is everywhere else at the moment. If it's going to be this cold, dammit, I want SNOW!

I work tonight at CSz, so that will make me smile anyway.

Nothing much is happening in my world...and that's probably a good thing.

1/12 Jeff

I meant to write about this earlier. My brother Jeff is in the hospital with a concussion from a fall. He was in CCU, but I hope he's out by now. It's sad, but how he did it was typically Bozarth and makes me laugh. Here's an excerpt from his wife Deb's email to the family:

"It was of course a very silly accident....he was trying to pop these big packing pillows that come with the wheelchairs...one of the girls up front suggested jumping on them...she did and one popped...and when he tried...it did not pop and he fell flat."

I pray he'll recover quickly. Then we can tease him unmercifully.

1/12 Stress overload

My eyes look like I've been crying. But it's from staring at the computer looking at legislative databases for the US and Canada, and also for several states. Have to finish up some research for a Sales Meeting this afternoon.

If that were all, it would be cool. But I'm behind on the Journal, still haven't sent out release forms to the authors, still need to get digital photos from them, and I've only edited one piece so far.

What's taking me so long is that the authors this time aren't familiar with APA formatting for their references, and I'm having to do it for all of them. (I mean, I can't force people to buy the Style Guide, and it's too late for me to find other articles.) Perhaps I'll be more strict next issue.

Aw, hell, who am I kidding? I'll do it again, if it happens. And I won't complain except for here--where I'll display my martyrdom. (I'm chuckling, because a martyr is far from who I am.)

Even though there's tons of boredom involved in this research, it's also extremely interesting. And I like taking the info and writing up the executive summaries for the Sales Team.

I did finalize the I.F. newsletter and it's gone to the printer. That's good. Now I must update the website newsletters, with some actual news pertaining to their particular subjects. Which means I need to read the pile of 23 magazines and journals piled on the floor next to my desk. Even though it sounds tedious, I love reading and gleaning the appropriate material for our customers.

It's just too bad that I have so much work waiting in the wings.

Okay, I'm done complaining. Lucky to have a job that I love. Lucky to have a job period.

Lunchtime is over...I spilled applesauce on my sweater. That's my secret signal to myself to get back to work.

1/11 So many things

So many things to do, to think about, and to wish for.

To do: Finish final proofing on the I-- F-- (hardcopy newsletter). Begin editing articles submitted for the Journal. Meet with creative director and copywriter to begin some legislative letters. Develop media kit and press release to be sent in a few days. Update media and legislative links on website. (WHAT!!!! It's already 4:30? Omigod, where has the time gone. I haven't even been frittering away my time on the web. Well, except for now. But that's because G [Gretchen? Gin?] enticed me into it.)

To think about: Mortality. I hate the concept.

To wish for: I wish Jill and Todd will let me take Kayla (4) and Hunter (2) to Disney World when I go in June. My niece Emma (9) is involved in a conference on immunodeficiency disease and her Mom and Dad have invited tons of family to accompany them. Jill and Todd want to take a vacation without their kids, but I didn't want to spend several days at their house watching the kids this year. Not that I don't want to watch the kids--I do. I crave it. But I want to take a vacation too. This would be the perfect answer. Plus I'd have other relatives around to assist.

My eyes are closed and scrunched up, my fingers are crossed, my hope is HIGH!

1/10 Back to work

Another Monday with way too much to do! But the good news is that I started out the day at the dentist's office and finally got permanent cement under my bridge. Life is good and this should last me forever (or at the least, more than ten years). Hooray!

I spoke to Kayla on the phone today. After a few moments, the smart little 4-year-old asked, "Grandma, why did your mommy and daddy have to die?" This takes some thought to answer. Too glib and it might bother her, too detailed and it might...bother her. So I answered, "They were both real real real real real real old." I put a ton of reals in there, because she thinks her parents are real old and I don't want her worrying about them dying.

"Oh," she replies, "did you know that when your parents die, you can go out and get new ones." Pause a beat. "You can do the same with pets."

It was all I could do to not break out in laughter. I asked her, "You can get new parents?"

"Sure, you can't expect a little kid to be all alone." My stifled laughter again....

Then I spoke to her about adoption, and she knew the word and thought I was right... that's how you can get new parents.

God, I'm a lucky bug to have her in my life.

1/9 Poor Packers

Green Bay lost decisively tonight. Minnesota played well, but I think Randy Moss should be kicked in the butt. What a horrible, egotistical baby he is. Talent only counts for so much in life. Character is so much more important--although it doesn't pay his salary. Lucky for him.

Here's a picture of 20 of us at the cemetary on New Year's Day. Those of us old enough drank a beer with Mom and Dad.




I'm in the middle with a rose coat on and a beer in my hand.

1/7 Snow and more of same

I love the snow. We finally got a bunch of it. Snow is the only way I can enjoy being cold... what's the use of freezing, unless you get to play?

Today is the strangest day. I forgot my watch, I forgot my earrings. These things never happen. I made an error at work, causing me to do a whole lot of clean up, spending time that I can ill afford. Then on the way to work this morning there was a bus fire on the freeway, so I sat in my car alongside many other cars, in our makeshift parking lot. My usual 20 minute commute took about 40 minutes. The good thing for me is that I'm listening to an audio book--The Time Traveler's Wife--and this gave me extra time to listen. I'm enjoying the book.

Last night was wonderfully boring at home. I finished up some tasks, watched tv, and just relaxed. I'm feeling over-tired for some reason. This weekend should be fairly quiet, which is what I need. I only work Saturday matinee at CSz. There's a party Sunday, but I don't think I can drag myself to it. I still have lots of work to do at home, left over from Christmas.

Two weeks ago my doctor called me and left a message, "I need to talk to you about the results of your blood test. It's nothing urgent. Please call." I was out of town and by the time I was able to call, she was on vacation and didn't return until the 5th. I waited until the 6th and called; the nurse wouldn't tell me anything and said the doctor would get back to me. I believe it's nothing urgent, BUT... call me already!

(Okay, she called. And it's good news. I mean, I'm glad, but why couldn't she have said that on my voice mail?)

1/5 What a night!

The show went so well. I never get nervous about performing, but right before I went up on stage my whole body felt like jello. But Lee (the teacher) reassured me, and I was fine. People laughed at every single joke I told, which surprises the hell out of me. I loved it. It was different being up there alone, because in CSz we always work with a team.

My only real worry was forgetting part of my routine. But I didn't. Once I started, the whole thing just bubbled out of me and I didn't even have to think or worry about what was coming next. It just flowed. Of course I know practice pays off, but it was nice to have the knowledge confirmed. Someone taped it, so I'm going to work on getting the DVD. (If so, Bron, I'll definitely send you one since you've sent me several tapes...)

We may do it again at a bar in South Milwaukee, so that will be cool. And I'm thinking about trying an open mike night at Safe House. That's really scary there because it's a really small room and they have a tough crowd there sometime. But if I want to go anywhere with any of this comedy stuff, I need to take risks.

I'm going to take another class at CSz very soon, so that will be fun as well as educational. Don't know if my improv work will ever go anywhere, but I'd like it to. In the meantime, it's a ton of fun, with lots of neat people.

1/4 Tonight's the night

We met last night for the last time prior to the performance. I think it's going to turn out to be a good show. I'm so excited. We're all going to meet at 6 at Giggles, and the show starts at 7. I should have several people there, although I've already had a cancellation because of illness. While commiserating with my friend, I still hope I get some folks there. Need the support.

Last weigh-in (Friday) I lost another half-pound, giving me a total of 21 for 2004, plus 14 for 2003, for a total of 35 so far. Have lots more to go, but I'm on my way. This Friday though, I'll probably gain after my eating frenzy in Quincy.

I do wonder what the calorie count of porcelain is though. I ate my temporary bridge on January 1. Funniest thing in the world isn't it? I'm still laughing every time I think of it. I was eating some cake that my s-i-l made. Delicious. I took a huge bite and bit down on something extremely crunchy. Kept chewing... thought it was either a big nut or an English toffee-like piece. Immediately afterward I noticed I didn't have a bridge in my mouth. Horrified, I ran to my s-i-l and asked, "Cindy, are there nuts or toffee pieces on top of the cake." She said, no, that it was just whipped cream. I started laughing and nearly wet my pants then and there. (For those who are keeping track of whether my brothers succeeded in making me laugh so hard I wet my pants, the answer is NO. I won again this year, although it was a close call a few times.

1/2/05 Happy New Year!

This is my first opportunity to post. I had the best New Year's ever. On Thursday, due to the evil genius of my s-i-l, Karen, married to my brother Jim, we decided that on Saturday we'd drive to Quincy and surprise everyone at the cemetary. I live 6 hours from Q and they live 4 1/2 hours, so I drove to their place and rode with them.

First we had New Year's Eve at their home. They have a dinner party every year with a few friends. And they have the most well stocked bar I've ever seen. I got fooled into drinking grappa last year (never again) and this year drank glug (gloog?), a Scandinavian drink made from fermented raisins and other fruit with grain alcohol added. Reminded me of college. Not horrific, but not interested in doing it again. And the worst was malert, or was it spelled melort or malort? Yeah, I think it's malort. Anyway, it's a cross between gasoline and horse pee. I'm sure that's what those two things would taste like, although I've never had the privilege. But trust me--malort is absolutely wretched. I'm shivering as I type.

I did drink tons of really good liquor however. Since the guest room is right next to the bar in the lower level, I thought it was a good time to drink.

We got only about 2 hours sleep because we had to wake up at 4:30 and left for Quincy at 6 AM Friday morning and arrived at the cemetary around 11:15 AM, just 5 minutes before the Quincy relatives. We'd opened beers and were standing by Mom and Dad's graves. Everyone was so surprised to see us. Our plan worked.

We all (nearly 20 of us?) drank and toasted our parents. Then some poured a little beer on their graves, and also on Grandpa and Grandma's. Individuals went around to visit other graves--their inlaws or friends. Some friends died young, as teenagers or young adults, and my brothers tipped a few drops there too.

This is one of our favorite family traditions.

Mom died the day after Thanksgiving in 1980--young and unexepectedly. Dad died 5 years and 34 days later on New Year's Day 1986. He died in his sleep and we know that the last thing he heard was my brothers' laughing in the dining room as they played Risk. My brother Joe and s-i-l Cindy bought our family home and every year since Dad's death we've gathered there on New Year's Day to play games and have fun. But we always start with a visit to the cemetary to have a beer with Mom and Dad.

We played so many different games--but this year the favorite was poker, Texas Hold 'Em. I ended up coming home with about $50 more than I went with. A very cool, and unusual occurence. We played $5 games and then $10 games. And we had two tables of seven people playing. What a riot!

The food was superb, as was the beer. But the best thing was the company. From the youngest member Blake (less than a year) to the oldest member me. And we had two "boyfriends" there. Jenna's boyfriend Josh and Kristen's boyfriend Rich. Neither one was scared away, which we always think is a good sign. (My daughter lost two boyfriends after they met us en masse. We knew Todd was a keeper after he didn't break up with her.)

I got home late this afternoon and have happy memories. And also a real need for sleep.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

12/30 Another holiday weekend

I rented movies and watched three tonight...a marathon. Saw Uptown Girl, Dodgeball, and Napoleon Dynamite and enjoyed them all. I'm looking forward to the long weekend. Some plans have come up which will make the weekend tons of fun. Will write more about it later.

12/29 Shoot!

Just found out I'm not working at CSz this weekend. That reeks. I could have stayed in Quincy instead of coming back to Milwaukee. I came back because I didn't think I should take off two weekends in a row from CSz.

Ah, well. I guess it will be nice to have a full three-day weekend with no obligations. Quite unusual actually. Perhaps I'll see what my brother and s-i-l in Aurora are doing for NY Eve.

I really do want to be in Quincy. Our New Year's Day ritual is unique, I believe. We all go out to the cemetary and have a beer with Mom and Dad. We stand around their graves and laugh at the great times we had and remember how wonderful they were. One of my brothers then usually pours a little beer on their graves. When there's snow on the ground, the beer looks like pee and that makes us laugh too.

After a little while we all adjourn to the house we grew up in, now owned by my brother Joe and his wife Cindy. We spend the day eating and playing games...and making fun of each other. It's actually an exquisite day, and I wish I could be there.

(I must confess there's another ritual--the boys try to make me wet my pants. It happened once, about 15 years ago, and they keep trying for a repeat performance. I laughed so hard that day that pepsi squirted out of my nose and I couldn't control myself.)

I always get so homesick around the holidays. But it'll pass and I'll be my old self again. Rob and Beata look forward to moving to Chicago from Japan to rescue me from this. That will be awesome, having my son and d-i-l so nearby.

12/29 Thinking about tragedy

Are you glued to the news because of the earthquake and tsunami tragedy in Asia? I'm finding it hard to stay away from the news websites, but need to do so because I'm at work. What a horrible tragedy--now CNN confirms more than 80,000 people are dead. Many thousands more are still missing.

It hit me mid-morning that the child I sponsor through Christian Children's Fund lives in Indonesia. I'm trying to get more information to see if the area he lives in was hit by the tsunami.

I donated money through Medecins sans Frontieres (Doctors without Borders)--that's the organization I have the fantasy of working with when I retire. They recruit mental health specialists as well as medical personnel. Don't know if it will ever become a reality, but it's quite possible.

This is horrific. The government is really helping. But I'm afraid though that the rest of us will look at it for a while and then forget about it. We, the public, tend to agonize more on tragedies in the US.

12/28 Back to work

Today will go quickly because I have so much to do. Plus I had to leave for 3 hours for a dentist appointment. Next Monday I get my permanent bridge. Hooray--I'll be so happy to get these visits over with.

Tonight is the last rehearsal before our stand-up performance next Tuesday. I'm really looking forward to the show.

And today I got player #3 for our Rec League team. Am waiting for a reply from someone else. The league should be a lot of fun. It starts January 11th and runs for 10 weeks.

Talked to Rob and Beata again last night. They loved the presents I sent, and I loved theirs as well. My Christmas was blessed--not just with being with family, but also in the generosity of people who love me (and me them). I got so many cool gifts.

12/26 Vacation's almost over

After having a delightful lunch at Jan and Tim's yesterday we played dominoes, then came back to Jane's for more movies. Very relaxing.

This morning at Mass we celebrated the feast of the Holy Family. I loved it because I was there with family members, but I desperately missed my own kids. Hope that someday we'll all be together. Maybe at the next wedding, who knows? But I sure missed my kids this trip. It was great talking to them so often, however.

After Mass, Jordan and Pete went camping with the Scouts, so Jane, Sarah and I met Jan, Tim and Kristen for lunch, then the gals all went shopping for After Christmas Bargains. I got some great ones, that's for sure.

Sarah had an indoor soccer game tonight. Her team had to play a boys' team--there aren't enough girls' teams in the league. So 7th grade girls played 8th grade boys. Sad... but the girls did score 2 goals. Very cool. My favorite part of the game was when a cocky boy (good player though) was showing off trying to pass Sarah and she stole the ball from him. Everyone on his team applauded her and screamed for more. Loved it.

Tonight Sarah and I watched another movie she wanted me to see. Jane went to bed early because she has to work tomorrow. I'm driving back to Milwaukee. It'll be good to be back to my own place. Wish I could transplant my Milwaukee life into Quincy. That would make it just about perfect--then if my kids and their families would move to Quincy too, that would make everything absolutely perfect. Maybe that will be my Christmas wish next year. You never know what lies in store....

12/25 Merry Christmas

What a night we had at Jan and Tim's on Christmas Eve. We still buy for everyone, although we keep saying we want to start drawing names. But the day after Christmas everyone is out looking for bargains for the next year. It was so much fun though, giving out and receiving tons of presents. Even little kids were giving out gifts--stuff they'd made. Loved it.

We had such a wonderful time. The only downside was that both my kids called (Rob from Japan, and Jill from LA) and I didn't hear my mobile phone ring. Aaaarrrrggghh! But I called them back later and that was cool.

Several college aged nephews and I played ComedySportz games. I think I told you all before that they call them "Jer games," and I can't get them to change it. They also say Jerberish instead of gibberish. But we had a riot. Played for HOURS. The rest of the gang watches and every now and then someone new will jump in when we're playing freeze.

I gave those nephews CSz UK shirts and cock 'n toast T-shirts and bumper stickers. They were thrilled. Two of them had visited me in Milwaukee last year and saw a CSz show and C 'n T show.

Then a few folks convinced me to do my stand-up routine. I was nervous because I knew my brothers would be heckling me. Only one made a smart comment however, but I'm so new at this that it did throw me. But that's okay. Good practice. And people said they really liked it. The laughter was reinforcing, that's for sure.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all. (We haven't opened presents yet at my sister Jane's house, and I'm looking forward to that.)

12/24 I love this time of year

Arrived at Jim and Karen's (bro and s-i-l) on Tuesday around 8 PM. Had a late dinner and did my routine for them and guests. They loved it, so I hope that kind of review continues. We exchanged gifts and made it an early night since Jim had to get up at 6 for work.

I got up at 8, showered and made it upstairs by 8:30. Met Jim in the kitchen. He'd overslept but wasn't too worried about it. Wish all my sibs lived a bit closer to each other. It's fun to be around them.

Had a quick breakfast with Karen, Frank, and Katy. Then took off for Quincy. I arrived yesterday around 2:30 PM and immediately needed to go over to Jan and Tim's (sis and b-i-l) to drop off presents. Jim and Karen had given me so many gifts to bring plus added to my own, well my car was so stuffed I couldn't see. The drive from Aurora to Quincy (about 5 hours) seemed like a really long drive because I couldn't see in my mirrors. Anyway, Sarah (13 yo) squeezed into the front seat and sat cross legged because the floor in front was full of gifts too. We first drove to Joe and Cindy's (bro and s-i-l) to drop off some stuff and then went to Jan and Tim's. Their new home that Tim built (with Jan's and a little help from others) is absolutely gorgeous. I'm so glad they're having us all there for Christmas Eve. It will be grand. The house isn't entirely done yet, but what is done is beautiful. They have every right to be proud. They invited me to stay at their home--the guests rooms are HUGE--but I said I'll stay at Jane's again because I love getting up Christmas morning and opening presents with kids.

We went to dinner at Krieger's and Kris (niece) and her boyfriend Rich were shopping and we saw them through the window, so they joined us. (I'm putting down relationships because most of my friends can't keep track of our family without a scorecard.)

Then we went back to Jane and Pete's (sis and b-i-l) and I watched Elf with Sarah and Jordan. We also have Princess Diaries 2 and Shrek 2 to watch. I love being around other discerning movie watchers. :) Today Sarah, Jordan and I are going to the threatre to see the Lemony Snicket movie. I can't wait. Doesn't matter what reviews say, I know I'm going to love it. Jane loves this tradition. She can get her last minute Christmas stuff done while I am having fun with her kids. I've been doing this for years. And the best thing is--she pays for it. Can't beat that.

Tonight we'll all be together for Christmas Eve. It will be wonderful but I'll miss my own kids so much. Damn now I'm tearing up. Damn. damn damn damn. Jill called yesterday and will call again tonight. Rob and Beata will call I'm sure. And Jim and Karen said they would call as well. Jan and Tim's son Craig and his gf Megan are in Columbus OH and will arrive for New Year's so they'll probably call tonight too.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all who read this note--and even to those who don't. It's a blessing to be alive and relatively healthy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12/22 Annual review

12:52 PM: In 8 minutes I get my annual review. It's hard to type with your fingers crossed. More later.

Later: The review went better than I'd even hoped. So my Christmas vacation will start off with a light heart. Christmas carols are playing on my computer (I LOVE Launchcast), I'm going to finish up what I can today and leave around 6 PM for five days of no-responsibilities except FUN! I love Christmas with family.

Oh, one other responsibility besides having fun will be to memorize my comedy routine. No problem, as that really falls under the fun category anyway.

12/20 Fun day at work

The day started with an early dentist appointment to finally get impressions for my permanent bridge. I'll get the permanent one put in on January 3rd--one day before I make my stand-up debut. Hooray. It will feel so good to have a "real" tooth again. Guess this will teach me not to bite on any frozen candy bars again. Yikes. I paid for it dearly--figuratively and literally. Another dental note--on December 28 I'm going to get a Zoom cleaning, and I'm thrilled about that. Even though they said my teeth aren't discolored, it seems that way to me. Especially when I see myself in a group shot. Some of the people I'm comparing myself to are professionals actors or public figures. Like my friends in California. But tough. I'm just going to have it done and will feel better.

Didn't get to work until 10:30 and at 11:15 we went out for a department holiday lunch. Went to TGIFridays at Miller Park. All of us received a gift card for Blockbuster, which was a nice surprise.

Tonight I need to FINALLY get my Christmas cards done, and I'll be glad to have that off my plate. I really love to send them, but am kind of stressed this year.

I'm really really really looking forward to Christmas in Quincy.

12/18 12 hour workday

I was supposed to work from 12-5 today but ended up working 12 hours. From 5-midnight I was the floor manager. First time. But I was glad to do it. Extra money, since I won't be working over Christmas weekend. And while doing that I got to watch a lot of the shows. You do a lot of work prior to and in between the shows, but during the show it's a lot easier than Box Office. Dick said to sit in the aisle and make sure the door gets opened when the players rush in. I can do that! It was fun. But I am really beat.

I'd planned to come home at 5 and do some of the hours and hours of work needed, but now have to cram it in tomorrow. And I have stand-up class tomorrow night too. So I think I better get to bed and get some zzzzs. (I changed the date and time, so it would look like this was posed on Saturday, but actually it's 12:45 on Sunday morning.)

12/17 Holiday frenzy

I'm feeling a bit rushed. Working at my regular job, plus two times this weekend at CSz, plus dealing with this damn bridge in my mouth, trying to get out Christmas cards, and finishing wrapping what I have for Quincy is causing a little stress. Of course, that's not uncommon during this time. But since I'd bought everything early, I thought I could get it all done early. Alas, not to be.

I did figure out my routine for 1/4, but now need to memorize it, or at least begin to memorize it for our class on Sunday. I'm looking forward to that. Refining the act is much more fun than I thought it would be.

Someone is coming to clean on Monday, so that means I MUST finish preparations for Quincy this weekend. Right now, no one could clean because there's too much crap strewn about. I'm a mess when I'm wrapping. But I can't wait to go there. My sister Jan and her husband Tim just built a house and moved into it a few weeks ago. So we're having Christmas Eve there this year. I'm sure it will be lovely. And it's always fun getting the gang together.

I stay at my sister Jane's house and enjoy Christmas morning her family. This year they're all going out to the Illinois Veteran's Home to assist wheel-chair bound patients in attending Mass. That's neat. Jer

12/15 A really good day

Today is a good one. Not only is it payday, but we got a nice gift card inside the envelope. This will make my last minute shopping a little easier. I bought most of my Christmas gifts while in the UK, but still have a few more. With the number of relatives I have, it's a wonder everything fits into my SUV.

And as usual, last night's Stand-Up class was fun and informative. Lee is wonderful for teaching us for free. A nice guy. And he really is knowledgeable about the subject. I find I'm eagerly anticipating our performance on 1/4.

We're meeting Sunday instead of next Tuesday, because Tuesday is a special workshop by Jill of CSz Twin Cities. So between now and Sunday I have to tentatively decide what's going to be in my routine. That's the hard part. I know what made the others laugh, but will the audience be made up of the same "type" of people? Probably, since the only ones there will be relatives and friends.

Three of my friends made it into the Minor Leagues. I knew it earlier, but it was announced via the CSz paychecks so it's public. I'm very happy for them, all three deserve it.

It makes me wonder about me. This was the first time I was eligible to be called up, since I just finished 104. Guess I need to ask Dick or Dave what I need to work on. I also wonder if my age is an issue. We'll see.

12/14 Work keeps multiplying

Like Tribbles. The piles on my desk keep getting higher and they taunt me. Taking time out to eat lunch at my desk, and check on personal emails and two forums. I'll probably work this weekend to help me catch up.

Tonight is Stand-Up class. I'm really looking forward to it because we're going to start building our routine out of all the "stuff" we've performed so far. We're going to pick out what has worked and find a theme that will make the jokes flow.

I need to make a sign to put up at work, letting people know when the performance is. But I'm rather nervous about people I know attending. I've never felt that way about improv, but stand-up is different. It's very personal.

12/12 Back home and back to reality

Don't know where to begin. Friday night was tons of fun. My friends absolutely loved CSz. For all of them, it was there first visit. But all will return. In fact, one friend booked her daughter's 16th birthday party there.

LA CSz was superb. The theatre is small, but wonderful, with no bad seats. I saw two people perform that I knew--Natasha and Kurt. Natasha shared that they just got engaged. So cool. I like them both...had lunch with them when they were in Milwaukee for WC. Kurt said he'll be back here for the holidays; Milwaukee is his hometown.

After the show I met two other people from the forums, Andy and Eric. That was neat too. Andy and I hugged like old friends. I'll definitely return for another show next time I'm in LA.

Saturday, we bought the tree for Jill and Todd's house and had fun decorating that with the kids. The kids got a small tree for Kayla's room, and I think next year it will be in Hunter's room. And they asked Grandma to help them decorate. Loved that.

Then Saturday night we opened presents. It's such a joy to be around little ones at a time like that. Plus, I made out like a bandit myself. :) I received a really nice gift certificate to Home Depot--one of my favorite stores. And they bought me a new printer, that prints photo quality prints. I'm thrilled with that. I use my digital camera all the time, but never print anything. And on my desk at work I know have Kayla's first school photo--from pre-school.

It was a great visit, but as usual was hard to leave on Sunday. I'll probably go back in a few months, but it's still sad to leave them.

However, the trip back to Milwaukee was eventful. While Heidi (the girl from the flight out) was in the bathroom Tony (the boy from the flight out) jumped over me and took her seat. She then sat in the middle seat and we laughed all the way back to Milwaukee. It was really REALLY turbulent as we got ready to land and Tony was scared, so he got out the emergency card and read it to us. I think he began seriously, but ended up being a comedian. An exchange student from Lithuania (adorable young man) stood by me, flirting with Heidi too. I don't think I've ever felt so old. But they ended up paying a lot of attention to me too--and Andrius said, "You're a hot grandmother" in German to me, so that was certainly a bit of fun.

Tony is coming to my stand-up debut. Hope that works out.

12/10 In sunny LA

It's 80 degrees and sunny and of course I neglected to bring shorts. I also neglected to bring something to sleep in and wore one of Todd's T-shirts last night. Omigod it was laughable. If I had more humility I would have taken a picture. A size M on a size XL body. Not a pretty sight. So I bought a pair of pajamas at Walmart today. I let the kids pick them out, so they are of Charlie Brown and the gang having fun in the snow. :)

The trip here was a stitch. A 19 year old girl was in A and I was in C--luckily we had an empty seat between. The kids from Marquette University High School soccer team were on the plane. The one in front of me was playing cards and every time he played a good card he'd jump up in his seat and then back in his seat. My seatmate Heidi and I just laughed, but it stopped being funny when the kid spilled my coffee. So I politely tapped him on the head and asked him to settle down. We started talking and Tony is so much fun. 16 years old and a bundle of energy, but Mr. Congeniality definitely. Did he stop jumping? Absolutely not, but he did apologize every time thereafter. :)

I told him that no matter how crazy he made me that I got a joke out of it for my routine. Don't know if it will fit into my 5-10 minute stand-up debut, but it cracked up everyone around us. I'm going to talk about the kid with ADD who sat in front of me and drove me nuts. (Of course I'll do a little overacting.) And finally, when I could stand it no long, I jumped up, grabbed the mike from the flight attendant and yelled, "For God's sake does anyone have any Ritalin?" (Gee it sure doesn't read funny, but it sounds funny, I promise.)

Sweet Tony wants to come to the performance. I told him there's no guarantee the joke will be in there, but if it is I'm going to exaggerate the whole scenario. He understands but he still wants to come and bring friends. I hope it works out.

A nice thing is that all of us are taking the same plane back to Milwaukee and we're sitting in the same seats. I love it. The kids said it'll give them something to look forward to. How sweet.

My grandkids were asleep when I arrived, but Kayla woke up and crawled in bed with me. Then Hunter woke up crying, I coughed and couldn't sleep, took medicine, got indigestion, and didn't sleep a wink because when the indigestion ended around 6 AM, it was time to get up. Yikes.

I'm going to be tired for our trip to LA CSz tonight, but will still enjoy being with family and friends and watching the show.

Today I'm with the kids all day while Jill and Todd are at work. We're having fun. Right now it's nearly naptime for the kids--and for Grandma.

12/9 Another brother, another birthday

I wrote three birthday messages, three days in a row--one each for John, Joe and Jay. Three out of five brothers. All five are beyond crazy. That's what I love about them. They keep me laughing. One of their goals when we get together is to see which one can make me wet my pants because of laughing so hard. It happened once. ONCE. In the late 80s or early 90s. But it's a legacy I'll never live down.

Sure wish I was famous in the family for something besides that.

Well, everyone's got to be good at something.

12/8/04 Fun last night

Stand-up comedy class was really fun last night. All six of us are starting to get some confidence and we all have such a different style of delivery. That's cool. The show won't be so boring because of the differences.

Last night we were to talk about our childhood or our future. I'd asked relatives to tell me what they wanted to be when they grew up--when they were asked as children. And I was going to make my routine about how no one ever becomes what they said, etc. But I had to cut so much to get to the punch lines, that it took too long. So I ended up using material from me. About what I'd wanted to be, and how it got me out of housework and chores as a kid. Then segued into looking forward to retirement. I got more laughs last night than at the other classes.

Next week, we're taking the best of each week and crafting our routine for our performance night, which is going to be January 4, at Giggles Comedy Pub. I'm really excited about it, and hope we can get a good-sized audience.

12/7 Birthdays 1, 2, 3

Today's my brother John's birthday, tomorrow is brother Joe's birthday, and the following day is brother Jay's birthday (and also b'day of son-in-law and ex-husband). Lots of sex going on in early March apparently.

Yesterday was just work, come home, crash. Boring. But a friend sent me a website for those days when you're very bored. It's nuts.

This morning Rob and Beata called from Japan. Very cool to talk to them. And a little while ago I talked to Jill in LA. I'm going there on Thursday evening for a very short weekend--coming back on Sunday.

That's it.

12/5 Weekend

What a super weekend. Since I worked at CSz on Thursday night I have the weekend to myself. I decided to take care of a few things at home. Yesterday I got all the presents ready and in a suitcase for my early Christmas trip to LA on Thursday. Then I relaxed. :)

Today I'll do laundry, start Christmas cards, work on my comedy routine for Tuesday (I hope), and of course watch the Packer game.

This morning I was online with my friend Bron. Right now it's around noon here and 6 PM there. It's really fun to be able to communicate so easily. We also played some Scrabble. She's really picking it up for someone who'd never played before. And also she's spelling in American English instead of UK.

12/3 Good day--Friday

First of all, I just came back from lunch and found that my son Rob had submitted comments on my blog, and that was a nice surprise. In fact it made me cry. Especially the one I've linked to here.

My theory of child rearing is no matter how painful it can be at times (and how lovely too), when your kids grow up what wonderful benefits you reap. To have grown up friends who are also your kids. Unbelievable.

Last night I worked at CSz and it was fun. A nice easy evening, which contrasts with my usual Friday or Saturday night mayhem. Afterward there was a birthday party for one of the players. That was fun too, especially because I got to kiss him. He's a cutie. I also had a beer and enjoyed that too.

I've been having such fun with Bron and Jen. Bron has been the only pal consistently submitting comments to this blog. Guess that's because I consistently submit them to hers too. She runs CSz in the UK (and performs too). Jen is with the CSz troupe in Portland OR. We've become such good friends online--of course I've met them both. Jen at the World Championship in August, and Bron was there too, but I also spent 5 months working with Bron's group when I lived in the UK for that time. But lately we've been emailing and IMing so much that they're like my little sisters. Nice women. Funny women.

12/2 Rob's writing and one more thing.

Yesterday I received 12 pages of writing from my son, Rob. He has a great premise for a techno-thriller and finally his wife and a friend convinced him to actually begin writing. I'm going to love this manuscript, I know. He's very talented. Now we've just got to get him to finish it. Being a Special Ops guy himself, he knows this kind of stuff from the inside. I think there's a market for it. And it just so happens his Mom is an editor.

Oh, and my temporary bridge broke and fell out, and I had to go get a new one this morning. Joy beyond compare.

The good news is that they made two, so if I break one I have another. Very cool. I'll get my permanent bridge right after New Years.

Tonight I work at CSz and have the weekend off. Life is indeed good.

Our stand-up class was fun again on Tuesday and I got some good feedback. Have to develop another routine and memorize it for next week's class, but I'll be able to do it this weekend in between wrapping Christmas presents and addressing cards.

I'm so excited that I'm not working this weekend. And next weekend I won't work either because I'll be in LA. Hooray!

12/1 December already?

I love December. The holidays are precious times. The last few years I haven't decorated my house however. I go to LA in early December to visit Jill and her family for an early Christmas. Then I go to Quincy to be with my sibs and extended family. We have a Christmas Eve that is awesome (my opinion), scary (new guests' opinions), overdone (everyone's opinion), and wild. I LOVE IT! Most of us still buy for everyone, but we don't keep score to see who doesn't. Doesn't matter at all. I feel so blessed when I'm at that gathering of 40 people or so. (I don't have the energy to count.)

My brother and sister-in-law from Aurora may not make it this year--his job has him on call at that time. There's a definite void when someone's missing. And you definitely need a note from someone in authority if you do miss. It is a rare and wonderful experience. And I always think that National Lampoon had us in mind when they produced Christmas Vacation. (Have I mentioned I love it?)

Many of us go to early Mass on Christmas Eve--some at 4 PM, some at 5 PM--then we gather at the designated house. One brother's house isn't big enough to hold the gang, but I've never heard anyone say anything negative about it. Whoever has enough room just takes turns. When I lived in Quincy, I had the gang over, but that was before everyone's kids started having kids. I know the group wouldn't fit in my old house now.

So we begin with food--everyone brings something and we eat and drink and laugh (and sometimes choke on our food and laughter). The kids (including a few of my brothers) begin anxiously saying, "Can we open presents now? Can we? Huh?"

And that's when the real craziness begins. Words can't describe it. I once made the mistake of asking if we could just give out one present at a time, so we could enjoy watching everyone open their presents. One of my brothers yelled out, "Only if we stay here two weeks." So we continue the tradition of a few people sitting on the floor near the tree, grabbing presents and yelling out names. Then it becomes a free-for-all. Such fun.

Many times we'll play some games. Usually not Jer-games on Christmas Eve. We save those for other occasions--like New Year's Day. I'll save those comments for another note.

People with little ones leave fairly early because the kids are anxious to get to sleep so Santa will come. Those of us with grown kids stay around and play games or talk. Then the rest of the crew goes to midnight mass--at our parish back home it begins at 10:30 PM. Kind of a faux midnight mass.

I can't wait for Christmas!

11/30 Good and not-so-good news from doc

Had my annual physical this morning. The great news is that I've lost 20 pounds since the last time they weighed me (late August) and also my blood pressure (normally around 120/70 which is high normal) is 104/60. I almost kissed my doctor at that one.

The not-so-good news is that I have degenerative arthritis. No big deal. I've had osteoarthritis for years and haven't let it stop me from doing anything I want to do. But now I have this stupid stupid stupid bump on my finger. I thought it was an injury from doing a pratfall at CSz. I remember throwing myself on the floor, getting up and telling a teammate that I'd hurt my finger a little. Turns out I didn't hurt it. That's just the time that I noticed it. Drat. There goes my career as a hand model.

11/28 Another weekend

I worked a lot this weekend at CSz. Most of it was fun. Friday had some rough patches including a drunk going backstage and coming out onto the stage. He ended up being thrown out (not physically). It was the first time I ever saw someone "dismissed" from the arena. Young kid. Bunch of them came in a bus to celebrate someone's 21st birthday. Birthday boy's mom was there too to ensure everyone stayed semi-sensible. Didn't work.

Also Friday night the cash register "froze" with all my money and receipts in it. Ugh. I couldn't balance the show and that was frustrating.

But Saturday matinee was great. I love working that show. The kids are adorable and really enjoy CSz. I think that's a show I could perform in and do well.

Speaking of that, in our paychecks was a note that some new people will be moving up to the Minors. I know it's not me because no one has spoken to me. But that does mean some of my friends will be going. That is very cool. Can't wait to find out who they are.

Today is laundry day, wrapping presents day and football day. Hate one, love the next and LOVE the last.

11/26 Yesterday was a good Thanksgiving

Yesterday started perfectly. My wristwatch alarm went off at 7 and I started to get up. Then I remembered that I didn't have to. What a great way to start the day--by being able to go back to sleep. I certainly give thanks for that.

At 8:30 the phone rang and it was my niece Sarah, calling to wish me a happy Thanksgiving. She's 13 and one of my favorite people in the whole world. I give thanks for Sarah--and everyone in my family.

My daughter Jill called later in the day and it was great talking to her, Kayla and Hunter. There's a lot to be thankful for there too. I'll be there in two weeks for a visit. Can't wait. We do our early Christmas usually the first or second week in December every year. Kayla told me yesterday that besides the winter dress she wants me to buy, she wants to take me to the Disney store so I can buy her an Aurora dress. I had to ask who Aurora was--it's Sleeping Beauty. Love learning new things. I hope that's a trivia question sometime. :)

I stayed in my pajamas all day. And it was so wonderful to be lazy. So often I run around with too many activities going on. I took the day off from everything that I didn't want to do. Was going to wrap some Christmas presents, but decided not to. Was going to work on the manuscript, but decided not to. Was going to start writing my jokes for stand-up class, but decided not to.

So what did I do? I watched tons of TV that I'd recorded. I played online Scrabble with people all over the world. Got trounced most of the time. (Yeah, I'm even thankful for that--teaches me humility.) And I "talked" to two friends a lot--Bron (in the UK) and Jen (in Oregon). Such fun. That's become a daily event with us and I look forward to it.

There's something that I do like about myself. I'm always grateful. Don't know why. Maybe it's because we didn't have much when I was a kid. I've learned to appreciate things and people. Each day the first thing on my mind isn't "Oh, crap I have to get up." It's "Thank you, God." I'm just grateful to get another chance. Another chance to be a better person. To right the wrongs I did yesterday. Another chance to have fun, to learn something new, and even another chance to have a lazy day. What a gift.

Okay, then sometimes I think, "Oh, crap, I have to get up."

As Kayla taught me to say: I'm a lucky bug.

11/24 Last night's report

The stand-up comedy class was ace. Lee--a friend from CSz who is also a successful stand-up comedian--is a really good teacher. He wanted the class small...only five. But he did let me in, so there are six of us. Five students know each other from CSz and the sixth is someone who's been doing open mike nights for several months, but wants some instruction. So even though this is really new for us, we don't have the usual fear of getting up in front of an audience. Lee said that makes it easier for us to put on a good show. Yeah, we're doing a showcase in several weeks. Don't know exactly when yet. I'm pretty stoked about it. Although it is pretty scary venturing out into something brand new. It's really fun learning new things though.

Someone wrote a mean comment on my blog. Not mean like my brothers would be mean--but just plain mean. And they weren't even adult enough to say who they were. I deleted the note right away and then decided to delete that poison from my mind. Criticism isn't fun to hear, but I can take it. Not from "anonymous" however. Anonymous and cruel doesn't interest me. Bye-bye, you're gone--POOF!

11/23 Life is gooooood!

Okay, so my face still hurts from the damn dental work, but I lost more weight. And tonight I start a stand-up comedy class, given by a friend of mine. Other friends are also in the class so it should be a lot of fun.

I find that improvisational comedy comes kind of easy for me. Quick retorts, smart-alecky while still be clean (required in CSz) are right up my alley--hell I have five brothers and we all have to talk fast to get a word in edgewise. Plus we all try to outdo each other with who is the funniest. I win, but not one of my relatives would agree with that. I didn't mention my sisters in this; that's because they don't play "can you top this."

I've been doing improv for nearly two years (January of '03) and am completely and utterly in love with the genre.

11/22 Woe is my face

CAUTION: Do not read further if you are squeamish about blood, guts and entrails!

Okay, it's not quite that bad. I just got back from the dentist and my face hurts (I know, it's killing you). I have a temporary bridge in and will have it for about four weeks. We hope my permanent one will be ready before I go home for Christmas.

Turned out that my tooth was dead anyway, and it broke because it was dead--it didn't die because it broke, which was what I originally thought. And apparently an old crack in it caused the whole thing--a crack which appeared on my x-rays but never caused me any problem, so we let it go. I ended up with a really big abcess and it took a few hours to clean everything out. Hence my face pain right now.

He pulled the tooth, fixed the abcess, ground down the two other teeth a little, and then I was fitted with a temporary bridge.

What may be a wonderful byproduct of this is that three years ago I had horrendous face pain. I thought it had been caused by eating a frozen Snickers bar and cracking a tooth. (See where this is leading?) They did tooth xrays, an ENT doc did sinus xrays, an oral surgeon did TMJ xrays, and nothing showed up. But the whole side of my face hurt, and it was excruciating pain. The final diagnosis was some sort of nerve pain caused by one of my cranial nerves. And I've been on meds for three years.

Getting rid of the abcess might--just might--take care of all that pain and get me off those meds.

11/20 More tooth woes

I forgot to post what happened with my tooth. So to recap--at lunchtime on Thursday I cracked a tooth while eating a bagel cracker. My dentist took me in immediately. When he looked at it he said, "You must be in a lot of pain." I said, "I wasn't until you told me that."

It cracked and separated all the way to the root. I told him that I'd feel differently if I'd been taking off a beer bottle cap with my teeth, but it was just a damn bagel chip, with lo-fat cheese on it.

I'm done laughing at my jokes now, because to do everything top notch it's going to cost me almost $4000. He said my insurance probably won't cover it because they'll want to do the cheapest option. And he said the prognosis on that working isn't good at all. So I'm calling my dental insurance company tomorrow to see if crying, begging, threatening, whining, or joking will help.

I had three shots to deaden it while he pulled out the already dead piece that had broken off. I don't understand how a tooth can die that quickly. Now the feeling is starting to come back, it hurts and I'm also sad about the dough.

Okay, I'm done whining. If I get the implant, the good news is that I'll never have to get a filling in that tooth. Ba-da-bum!
_____________________________________
I called my insurance company yesterday and told them the three options:

Since the tooth broke under the gum line (ouch), it killed the whole tooth. At least the doc thinks so. He says the cheap way to go and the one the insurance will pay for is to try to save the tooth, do a root canal, a core build-up, and a crown. That will be close to $2000 (approximately $1850-1950). Even though my insurance will pay for it, doc said that he's pretty certain it's not the best way to go, because he doesn't believe we can save the tooth. It's a molar and is very damaged.

Option 2--the one he recommends is to get the tooth extracted, get a titanium implant done by an oral surgeon, and an implant crown. That one is about $3700-3800. Because my other teeth are really good, and should last my whole life, he said we need something for this tooth to last my whole life as well.

Option 3--Extract the bad tooth, PLUS the teeth on either side and get a 3-unit bridge. This will last my whole life, but is a waste of two perfectly good teeth. That's why he recommends #2. Cost of this one is about $2800.
_______________________________________
So of course the insurance company definitely won't cover any of the implant. Guess I'll have to go with the root canal and crown. It's the cheapest, and insurance will cover all but about $750.

This reeks.

I'll call the dentist Monday and give him my decision. The "stuff" he put in the tooth to fill it in the meantime, all fell out the first time I ate. So know there's this big hole in my mouth and of course my tongue goes to it all the time. Ugh. I just want to get this over with.

11/19 the Beatles

Today an acquaintance slammed the Beatles in a Forum I frequent. I responded:

As an Oldie, I need to comment on the Beatles. I don't know if anyone ever loved them as a "band." We never cared about their musical ability. They were a phenomenon. We had never experienced anything like them. Yes, we screamed for the young Elvis. And we loved the Doo Wop of the 50s and early 60s. Motown wasn't the power that it was going to be, but some of those early R&B groups still make me smile.

Ah, but the Beatles. Every young girl had her favorite. And just knew that he would marry her. As a young Catholic girl, I wasn't in favor of divorce, but I would have made an exception in John's case. He needed to divorce Cynthia and marry one of my friends. Paul was mine. Still is.

As far as some of the other groups go, songs still elicit memories for me, and yes they make me smile. Some of the Beach Boys songs make me feel like a high schooler again. Same with the early Stones. Same with some of the very early Ike and Tina Turner, when they weren't national and only some very cool kids knew about them.

I love the Beatles. Musicianship be damned in this case... it's them! The phenomenon! (Paul still loves me best.)

Thanks for slamming them. It made me smile to write this. Jer

11/18 Yikes, my tooth!

While eating lunch (bagel chips and soft cheese) I broke a tooth. I'm very upset. Not about going to the dentist--I don't mind that at all, but I hate leaving work early. There's so much to do. I'll finish at the dentist around 4:30 or 5 PM and will have to come back to work to finish up some stuff before tomorrow. That's what upsets me. I wanted to work on the book tonight like I did last night. But the best laid plans etc. etc.

The show last night was quite enjoyable. I saw seven folks from my own group (out of 12), so that was fun. Got home to find a message on my machine from 4-year old Kayla. "Grandma. Grandma. Hello?? Helloooo? Grandma, why does your phone sound so funny? Mommmmmyyyyy!" Then my daughter spoke for a moment. Cute.

11/17 Hmm, why haven't I posted?

Don't know. It's unusual for me to go three days without posting. I try to do it during my lunchtime but sometimes I forget. My mind is a colander. (I used to say "sieve" but that's a cliche, so I made up one of my own.)

Tonight I'm going to CSz to watch another class's performance. That's sure to be fun.

Am starting to think more and more about home. Even though I have a lot of acquaintances here in Milwaukee, I really don't have a good friend. Someone that I was really close to when I lived here before is now married with a small child. That certainly puts her in a different life phase than me. I still love her, but our relationship was forced to change, and that's not a problem. I'm glad she's happy. We'll see each other every now and then, but there's no more calling me to see if I'd like to go out to dinner, movie, play, whatever. That's what I miss. I noticed that I'm the one who asks people to do stuff. No one calls me.

Guess I need to do some introspection on why that is. (Damn, I hate introspection.) There's no reason to try to look for blame in other people. Why don't I have friends here (versus friendly acquaintances)? One reason for sure is that I enjoy doing things that younger people do--like CSz. Only a very few people there in my age group. My young friends (I'm going to use friends--meaning pals) enjoy being around me sometime, I do know that. But I can't expect them to want to hang out with me all the time.

The last time I lived in Milwaukee I was dating the Prof. Of course that made living here much more palatable. It's not that I don't love Milwaukee. I do. Just well--all the crap I've already written about.

As I think about home, I try to create ways I can do my job long distance--I can certainly write and edit from Quincy. Those are the major parts of my job. But the managerial part would have to go. Am I ready to do that? I'd also have to give up the comaraderie that goes with working in a company. Am I ready to give that up? Guess the answer is no.

Maybe I'm just in a temporary funk. My classes are over for now. Who knows if I'll be in others. Plus, I thought I'd be on a Rec League team with certain people that I've practiced with for a long time. But that's not to be. So I can risk more rejection by asking others to join me on a team, or I can decide to forego the league. Haven't decided yet.

Aarrgghhh! I hate introspection.

11/14 Rob's birthday

Today is my son Rob's 33rd birthday. It seems like a moment ago he was a 2-month old baby in my arms. That's how old he was the day we brought him home from the agency in Hawaii. I'd wanted a baby forever, and we'd been married for more than four years when I discovered I couldn't get pregnant.

We'd been approved for about six months. Back then Hawaii DFCS approved six couples at any one time, and when a child became available that child went to the couple who had the best "fit" with the child. Rob is Samoan, and at the time there were no Polynesian couples, or any couples of color, approved. Out of all the haole couples, my husband was the biggest. So we got Rob. I was so grateful my ex played football in college.

(Haole--pronounced hah-oh-lee--originally meant stranger in Hawaian. Now it commonly means white person.)

When I got the call that a beautiful healthy baby was ours, my husband was in the field on the Big Island. He was in the military. I had no way to reach him. So I called the OOD (officer of the day) and told him the story. He radioed the Big Island and my ex said he had to maintain silence during the manuevers. So as soon as they were supposed to "attack" the other forces, he yelled aloud as he ran, "I'm a FATHER--I have a SON!!"

He came home the next day and we went into Honolulu to pick up Rob. At this point we hadn't even seen a picture of him, but that didn't matter. We walked into the agency and the receptionist said they weren't expecting anyone with our last name. After a few extremely anxious moments, we found out she was brand new and had no idea what she was saying. Then they brought out our baby.

He was gorgeous. I fell in love immediately. They gave us pictures from the first two months of his life in foster care. I cherish those.

Rob's gifted in many ways. He can play any sport, but soccer is his favorite. He can draw and paint. He is musical, has played drums since a kid. And he's smart. I can brag, since he doesn't have my DNA. :)

I'm so in love with both my kids, and I wrote about Jill on her birthday. I wanted to do the same with Rob. Both of them have enriched my lives in ways I never could have imagined prior to their coming into my life. What blessings!

Happy birthday, Rob. Can't wait until you and Beata move home from Japan. I miss you both.

11/12 Happenings, none

Nothing really exciting happening. Except my work. I love doing what I do. I love writing and editing (don't judge either of those skills based upon my quickly-written and unedited blogs). I love that I'm kind of a utility infielder and receive other assignments from the CEO and also the owner.

The owner asked me yesterday to contact Rob and Beata (son and d-i-l), who live in Japan. One of our employees in the Japanese office is leaving and the owner wanted to get him a suitable gift. Rob suggested a bottle of Habu Sake (sake with a poisonous snake coiled inside the bottle). We don't quite know if he was serious or not. He and Beata did give other suggestions too.

Eating lunch--this is when I normally blog. Today it's black olive hummus, scooped up with bagel crisps. Oooh, I love this!

11/11 Another day in the office

Got a lot done. So why does my desk look worse than when I arrived this morning?

Yesterday I went home at 4. Couldn't think; I was so tired. Today I feel pretty darn good.

I work all evening at CSz on Saturday, and Sunday I have a Sisters-in-Crime meeting. Wish I had a day where I didn't have to go out at all. I love those days. Especially when it's cold--like now.

11/10 What fun! zzzzzz

Last night was so much fun, but right now I'm as tired as I can be while still almost functioning. I found that critical thinking is out the window. Also found that I can sleep with my eyes open, while nodding my head, smiling, and pretending to listen to people speak in a meeting. I've regressed to college days. But then, of course, I could stay out all night and still function.

Got home after midnight, to bed after 1 AM, and up at 7 AM and my behind is dragging.

But it was a magical evening. The group performed well, most of us were able to put our lessons into practice. I failed on one thing, the others I did okay. Even shone a little. Thanks, LA James, for teaching me the grandiose, "I FAILED!" (Throw arms up in the air.) "Thank you." (Full theatrical bow.)

There were more than a hundred people there, I was told. I had several friends attend, which was wonderful. We stayed in the CSz bar for a long time after the performance.

My friend, Christine, was the shining star of the evening, I believe. While everyone did well, she grabbed the audience's attention with her risk-taking and wit. I'm happy she was so successful.

I hope I'm able to finish out the day withou ZZZZ ZZZz zzzzzzzzzz drool

11/9 Performance Time

I'm really psyched. Can't wait for the performance tonight. The only bad thing is that it will soon be over. Well, that's life. I've learned so much in this series of workshops...probably more than all the others combined. Or maybe it's that I've absorbed a lot and am ready to put it into practice. Who knows... I'm just excited.

Here's a picture of Kayla with the elephants my co-workers sent her.

11/8 Monday--oh yeah!

I do love my job. Today is overwhelming to the nth degree, but I'll survive. In fact, I'll thrive. (Trying the power of positive thinking here.)

The weekend was busy. Friday night I worked at ComedySportz, the two evening shows. And on both Saturday and Sunday my group rehearsed for our Tuesday CSz show. I'm so psyched about it. Maybe that's why I'm feeling so good today, even though the work is piled so high on my desk that I can't see over it--metaphorically speaking.

At the same time I'm trying to stay up to speed with NANOWRIMO--see that blog if you're interested.

11/5 Death

Yesterday when I got home from work, a neighbor said that Glenn died the night before. Glenn's bedroom is right below mine in the condo building. The police and the coroner were still there, having had to break into his condo. They were waiting for the funeral home to arrive to remove the body.

Glenn and I weren't friends, but we were "hello, how are you" neighbors. I saw him nearly every morning when I went down to the basement garage. He was usually returning from breakfast as I was leaving for work. Kind and polite to me, as I was to him. I liked him, except for his smoking. When our windows were open, the smoke just drifted into my place. I hated that, and won't miss it.

But I'll miss his neighborliness.

I asked Gene if Glenn had any family and was told there was an estranged brother and that was it. That made me sad. I know when I die there will be a host of people grieving. Not bragging, because I have no idea how many friends would grieve, but I'm speaking of family. I'm so blessed to have tons of relatives who love me as I do them.

So I'm grieving for Glenn. Someone needs to.

11/4 UPS came through...

with a check for $22 and not even an acknowledgement that I'd asked for no money, but rather an apology to Kayla. Now that I have the money, I'm pissed that it's not enough. Yuck. Plus they made the check out to my company rather than me, because I shipped from here.

After a semi-productive day at work, I went to the Minor League show at CSz to support some friends. It was a great show, but only about 25 people in the audience, so that was a downer. Other friends had rehearsal elsewhere so I sat by myself. Sat in the front row because no one else was there. Finally a few others joined me. Afterward one friend said she was happy to see me in the front row and to hear my laughter. I'm really glad I went.

Didn't feel well, so I took a lot of work home with me in case I decided to stay home today. But I couldn't do it. It's just a sore throat, so I'm at work. Got in really early because I woke up at 5 AM. Darn geese flying south for the winter--always are honking and waking me up.

11/3 Depression and joy and lots of barrel laughs

I'm much sadder than I thought I'd be about the election results. Sad, and a little scared. But my son will be happy. Damn it.

But Kayla is ecstatic and not about the election. I should have seen this as a forewarning though. The elephants made her happy. (Darn symbols of Republicans.)

The elephants arrived by UPS. She loves them both so much. One is battery operated and one is huggable and plush. She told me the Mommy elephant knows how to walk, but the baby elephant doesn't. Adorable. Jill is going to take pictures and email them to the sweet women who gave the elephants to Kayla.

Last night we had a run through of our CSz Workshop show for next week. I'm pretty stoked about both the number and the type of games I'm playing. The whole group did really well, and I laughed a lot. Afterward we adjourned to the bar for a few drinks. Fun evening--well, except for the election results part.

And so we come full circle.

11/2 I voted

I arrived at the Brown Deer Library around 7:45 AM and was finished by 8:30. Not too bad. It was cloudy and cool, but no rain. I proudly wear my "I voted in Brown Deer" sticker. Very chic.

Am on my lunch break, and am breaking my WW diet in a big way. Eduardo's pizza delivery guys got to pick their three favorite customers and give them free pizza. So I'm chowing down on a deep dish slice, only because it's the only vegetarian one there. Am I feeling guilty? Yes. Will that stop me? No.

Tonight is my final rehearsal before our CSz performance next week. I'm quite excited. I love performing and wish I could do it more often. Perhaps after this class I'll look for a play to audition for. I'd rather do CSz, but I'm far from good enough to be a pro. I'm confident I could get there, but I'm so much older than everyone else. I doubt that it would become a reality. So I might check out something else. Who knows. (Now I'm sad that this is my last workshop.)

10/31 Worked late last night

I had a great time working at ComedySportz yesterday. But I noticed one thing about myself. If I work noon-11PM I get kind of punchy at the end of the shift. Especially after working a full week on my regular job. I found it difficult to balance the books for the last show...it took me a long time. Hate that.

Today, I'm taking it easy. Am watching football and doing laundry right now. Love one/hate the other. Guess which is which.

10/30 Halloween fun

Yesterday at work was really a lot of fun. I ate way too much, but when I got home from work I was still full, so I didn't eat dinner. I think it will be okay. As of yesterday I'm down 17.5 pounds in 9 weeks and am thrilled. Only lost 1/2 pound but that's because I went home to Quincy last weekend for the celebration. This week will turn out better.

Today I work 10-12 hours at CSz. It will be very tiring, but should be fun. We're giving discounts to people who wear costumes, which will make accounting a little more difficult. Plus I'll have to make hard decisions like--does a crazy tie count as a costume? Earth-shattering decisions like that.

Tomorrow I'll sleep a good part of the day most likely. Then will get my laptop and notes set up to begin NANOWRIMO on Monday after work.

My NANO blog.